The Darkness Within
by SBPagel
Summary: Harry struggles with ever present nightmares while trying to survive the war going on around him. Will his friends help him through it or will Draco be the one to save him. AU post OOtP Warnings - Character Death, Slash, Dark Themes. HPDM RWHG - COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings -** This fic will have dark themes and slash.

 **Disclaimer -** I do not own the Harry Potter series

 **A/N -** This picks up after OOtP. Some plot points will remain the same others will change.

 **Chapter 1**

Harry Potter was once again lying on his bed staring at his ceiling. This was a habit he had found himself getting into every night since returning to the Dursleys three weeks earlier. He had done it so often that he was able to count exactly how many leaves were on Number Two's tree from the shadow cast by the street lamp and how many layers of paint there were due to the crack Dudley had caused in a tantrum many years ago.

Instead of the usual torment his relatives would subject him to, Harry found himself ignoring them completely. He emerged from the smallest bedroom only for meals and when the need to use the bathroom reached a dangerous climax. His uncle appeared to be enjoying Harry's new-found introverted attitude, but he always got the feeling that Petunia and Dudley wanted to say something to him.

Harry didn't talk to anyone though. His responses to Hermione and Ron's letters were rarely more than a few sentences and anyone else who bothered to write were lucky to get a few words in response, if that. The pain of losing Sirius was still far too raw to contemplate. Every time he closed his eyes for even a second he would see his godfather falling through the ghostly veil all over again, which is why he had fallen into the depressing habit of staring at an empty ceiling.

Every night he willed himself to stay awake, to try and force the inevitable to not happen. It was always the same however. He would fight it until the early hours, up until his mind finally betrayed him and would turn off. A few hours later he always found himself awake, sweating and sometimes even crying. The dreams were always painful and always vivid. He dreamt of graveyards and dead friends. Of a godfather who didn't need to die, of parents he never had the chance to know and of the horrors yet to happen.

Logically he knew it was just his brain playing tricks on him, but that gave him no comfort. Logically he also knew that what he dreamed of had every possibility of happening again. He wished he could have the silly nightmares that his friends had. Ones where he was being chased by purple elephants or forced to tap dance by giant talking spiders. Harry Potter was never destined to be normal.

Tonight was slightly different to the 21 others he had spent in this room since the end of term, tonight, Harry at least had something to focus on. Tonight, he had a letter from Dumbledore. He whittled away the time by rereading the note, trying to figure out what it meant and dreaming up possible outcomes. It made part of him excited, a part of him that still loved Christmas morning and Quidditch, this was the closest he had been to happy since he left Hogwarts.

It was too much to ask for this to end his night time woes however. As the digital clock on the desk clicked over to 3am, Harry's eyes fluttered shut and a small slip of parchment slipped onto the hardwood floors. It read;

 _Harry,  
If it would not be of too much trouble I would appreciate a meeting with you. I hate to assume, I believe the muggles have an indelicate expression about that, so please let me know an appropriate time to collect you. Hedwig will find me.  
Our discussion may drag on a tad so afterwards you are free to stay at Grimmauld Place, the Burrow or if you so wish I can return you to your relatives. I do however feel the latter is rather unlikely.  
I eagerly await your response, your servant,  
Albus Dumbledore. _

For a brief moment all was silent within the home of Number 4 Privet Drive. All that could be heard were the deep breathing sounds of the four occupants sleeping and the wind coming through a crack in the bathroom window. Harry Potter looked almost peaceful, almost like a normal sixteen-year-old boy. However, the illusion was lost when slowly his face became pale, his breathing slightly erratic and a thin bead of sweat slid over the scar on his forehead. His hand clenched the sheets and he began to shake. No, Harry was not destined to be normal. He was the world's reluctant hero and every hero has a darkness deep within.

Harry woke amongst soaking wet sheets at six thirty the next morning. Last night he dreamt of Cedric again, the memory dreams were the hardest. He would remember the way the air smelled, the feeling of Voldemort cold fingers against his face and the look of emptiness in Cedric's eyes after the green light took his life.

Groaning, Harry rolled over and forced himself to stand and face the day. At least tonight his surroundings would be different. He'd be around people who genuinely loved him and maybe that would help to keep the dreams at bay. The realist in Harry doubted it heavily though. He had scribbled a quick reply to Dumbledore the night before saying that he needed an hour to pack his trunk and would be spending the rest of his holidays at the Burrow, he chose to acknowledge the comment about the Dursleys. Hedwig was waiting on his desk note strapped to her leg, untying it he saw one neatly written sentence.

 _HP, I will see you at 10am, AD._

Two and a half hours and he would be back to where he truly belonged. He was self-aware enough to know that he may be suffering from depression and night terrors, but he wasn't so far gone that he wasn't capable of appreciating life in the magical world.

After a long shower to remove the smell of sweat, he set about packing his trunk. It would never cease to amaze him how far his belongings could travel when he never actually left his room. After grabbing a shoe from above the cupboard and sending Hedwig off to wait for him at the Burrow, Harry closed his trunk and carried that, his broom and Hedwig's cage to the bottom of the stairs. He had half an hour to eat breakfast before Dumbledore was due to arrive.

Harry walked through the kitchen door and saw his aunt and cousin sitting at the table, Vernon having already left for the day. It suddenly hit Harry that this was only the second time that he actually had to tell them that their time together was getting cut short. The memory of Dudley's growing tongue the last time he left with warning still brought a smile to his face.

After preparing a simple breakfast of jam toast and coffee, Harry sat and let his relatives watch him eat. This was a sensation Harry never could become accustomed to. Even at Hogwarts when the stares from fans and doubters were common, it still managed to bring a flush to his neck.

"I'm leaving today." Harry said after finishing his toast, leaning back to enjoy his coffee. "Dumbledore should be here any minute."

"Oh" was all Petunia had to say on that subject. Harry assumed she was already planning a family trip the three of them could take before Dudley left for school as well. The three sat in silence listening to the seconds tick by. This was torture, Harry decided. He should have spent longer in the shower.

After 9 minutes and 35 seconds, yes, he counted, the doorbell finally rang. They had been sitting in silence for so long that Dudley actually startled in surprise, almost falling out of his chair. Harry jumped up, not able to leave the awkward silence fast enough, to answer the door. Dumbledore stood on the front porch looking every bit the wizard Harry so admired, smiling down at him the twinkle in his eyes ever present.

"Harry my boy, it is as wonderful to see you as ever."

Smiling at the thought of finally going back to the wizarding world where he belonged, Harry said "Good morning professor. Come in, I'm all packed."

Petunia looked mortified, the idea of someone so obviously magical walking into her house in broad daylight seemed too much for her delicate sensibilities to handle.

"Well Harry, seeing as you are all packed up and ready to go I see no reason to dally." Dumbledore vanished Harry's belongings with a flick of his wand, Harry assumed to the burrow. "We have much to discuss."

"Absolutely sir, where are we going? Hogwarts?" Harry was anxious to leave.

"No, to Grimmauld place. I realise that it will be difficult for you, but it is still head quarters therefore most convenient." Dumbledore gave him a sad smile. "I must warn you that apparition is not pleasant the first time. Best hold on tight."

Harry reached out for Dumbledore's offered arm but before he could grab hold Dudley rushed forward and held out his hand. "Goodbye Harry, I'll see you during the summer yeah?"

Harry openly gawked at him. It was the first time Dudley had said even one word to him since the incident with the Dementors last year. He grabbed the offered hand awkwardly and nodded, mumbling something that sounded like 'goodbye' before firmly placing his hand on Dumbledore's arm.

There was a sudden blackness before he and Dumbledore appeared in an alley across the way from number 12. Harry had to congratulate himself for not immediately throwing up all over Dumbledore's shoes and was very glad that he had such a small breakfast.

Dumbledore chuckled. "As I said, it is not pleasant, but I promise you'll get used to it."

"I'll have to take your word for it." Harry took a few deep breaths and vowed to fly more than apparate.

They made their way through the park where a few muggle children were playing, their mothers openly gawking at Dumbledore's violet robes. As they drew closer Harry thought the words ' _number 12 Grimmauld Place'._ Slowly, the town house began to appear and the muggles around them were none the wiser. When Dumbledore said that it would be difficult, he wasn't lying. It took every ounce of Gryffindor courage to climb those steps and not run in the other direction. Sirius hated being back here. He went from being locked up in Azkaban to locked up in a very different sort of Prison, one that was every bit as torturous and traumatic. He never tasted free air and for Harry that was the hardest part to accept. He took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts and emotions down. His nights were plagued by darkness, he didn't need it during the day as well.

As he walked through the entrance hall, Harry saw that everything was just as gloomy and depressing as before, if not more so. The trolls leg hat stand was on the ground, Tonks must have been here recently, the horrid portrait was still hidden beneath thick curtains and there was still a permanent smell of dust in the air. As he walked into the kitchen the memory of confessing his fears of wanting to kill Dumbledore hit him like a punch to the stomach. His breath shuddered as he tried to stop the tears from welling up.

Dumbledore placed a hand on his shoulder to steady him "If this is too difficult,"

"No." Harry took a deep breath and sat down at the table. "I can't avoid this forever. What is this meeting about? I already know about Sirius' will and Hermione told me about Snape and Slughorn, she didn't want me to be surprised on the welcome feast, though I'll never understand why you did that." Harry's hatred of the slimy git ran deep.

"This is about none of that." Dumbledore answered choosing to ignore the jab at Snape. "this is about you deserving to know what is happening around you. You have proven yourself time and time again to be strong and loyal. I can not induct you into the order as you are not yet of age. I, however, can keep you informed of what is happening within our ranks. I would like you to think of it as an advisory role."

Harry was floored. He found it amazing that just last year Dumbledore was doing his best to keep Harry as far away from the Order as possible. Now he seemed to trust Harry beyond the required student teacher relationship required. "Wow professor, thank you."

"You are more than welcome. There are some who were a part of the Order during the last war that have sacrificed less than you. While a few people disagree, I believe this is the least that we can do. If there is one regret that I will always have, it is of how much of your childhood you have lost. You should be busy chasing skirts, not dark lords."

Harry flushed at the thought. "Honestly sir, over the past few weeks I've realised that there is so many more important things than kissing girls and wasting time. Once Voldemort is dead I'll give the normal life a shot but for now, I need to accept the hand I was dealt and go all in. It may not be fair but if life was fair I would still have my parents. I'd still have Sirius." Harry looked at Dumbledore, not as an almost 16-year-old boy but as the man he was forced to become. "Please don't pity me, help me. As you said, Voldemort chose me and I'm going to need all the help I can get to take him down."

"Harry you are wise beyond your years." Dumbledore smiled at him and the pride in his eyes was unmistakeable. "Now to the help that I can offer. Today you and I will go over everything I currently know and suspect in regard to Voldemort's plans and the location of him and his death eaters. This will be an open forum, please feel free to ask any questions that you feel appropriate. I will only not answer if I truly do not know or have a very good reason to deny a response."

Harry nodded and with that Dumbledore conjured a stack of parchments marked with obvious signs of wear, these were perused often. Harry listened intently as Dumbledore explained each and every paper detailing everything the Order was currently working on. Around lunch time Dumbledore conjured sandwiches and pumpkin juice and they continued to talk for hours until Harry felt that if he took in any more information his brain may just start to leak out of his ears.

"Well Harry I believe you are as caught up as I can reasonably get you within a day." Dumbledore leaned back in his chair looking just as exhausted as Harry felt. "I feel that it is past time that we get a decent meal into you. Arthur said this morning that Molly is, and forgive me here, 'having kittens' worried sick about how thin you must be by now."

Harry smiled at this, Molly's cooking was second only to the house elves at Hogwarts. "That sounds amazing sir."

"Now before you floo off to the Burrow for what I am sure will be a spectacular night and forget all that we discussed today," Dumbledore pulled out a small satchel of floo powder and walked to the fire place. "I do have one more thing of note. My plan is to have these catch ups once a month. Once more here and the rest back at Hogwarts. In saying that however, there is a situation that I believe is scheduled to come to its climax tonight. As such I would appreciate it if you came back tomorrow."

Harry nodded grabbing a small hand full of powder from Dumbledore. Before throwing it in the fire place he asked, "Sir, can I tell Ron and Hermione any of this?"

"Yes, in fact I believe that Ron and Hermione should join you tomorrow, they may find some things difficult to believe elsewise. But I implore you to tell no one else. You can imagine the stir it would cause if anything should slip." Dumbledore said.

"Of course, well I'll see you tomorrow after breakfast." With that he threw the powder and clearly said 'the Burrow' watching Dumbledore spin out of existence. As soon as he set one foot out of the Burrow's fire place the first thing he felt was a complete sense of belonging. This house had a way of welcoming all who entered. The second thing he felt was the wind being knocked out of him, Hermione had appeared from no where apparently trying to squeeze him until she cracked a few ribs.

"Harry! It is so good to see you! Dumbledore said you'd be coming today but didn't say when!" She let go beaming at him.

"Hi Hermione, where's the Weasleys?" Harry looked around the living room. Crookshanks was curled on the rug and a book was lying open on the ground. She had obviously thrown it aside in her haste to murder him.

"They're all outside getting dinner sorted. Mr Weasley wanted me to wait so you didn't come into an empty house, but I think he was sick of me asking when you would turn up. Were you with Dumbledore all day?" Hermione paused for breath. "What did he want? He wouldn't tell us anything!"

"I'll fill you and Ron in later, right now I'm starving." Together they walked through the house and outside through the kitchen. The view he was met with forced a smile that he had no control over. Mr Weasley was adding more chairs to the extended table. Mrs Weasley was carefully hovering a cauldron full of stew. Fred and George were laughing at the end of the table with Ron and Ginny. Bill was lost in conversation with Fleur and standing off to the side was a man Harry hadn't realised how much he missed until seeing him. "Remus!" He ran and hugged the werewolf with almost as much force has Hermione used on him. Almost.

"Harry it is bloody wonderful to see you." Remus hugged him back. "I am so sorry I haven't written, I've wanted to I just didn't,"

"Know what to say" Harry finished for him "It's ok I get it." Here was the one other person in the world who felt the loss of Sirius as much as himself.

Harry's sudden appearance caused a stir among the Weasleys and he found himself being pulled every which way for hugs and handshakes. Eventually he was firmly place into a chair with a bowl of steaming hot stew in front of him, Harry couldn't help but notice that Mrs Weasley served him the largest helping. Sometimes it was nice to be completely cared for. After dinner was over He found himself completely exhausted, it is amazing how tiring talking and listening is. He excused himself after Mrs Weasley explained that he was set up in Percy's old room.

His belongings were waiting for him at the end of the single bed and Hedwig was sitting on the sill, obviously waiting for his return before going hunting. With a hoot and a gentle nip to his ear, she flew out the window and disappeared into the blackness. Harry set about getting ready for bed and unpacking what he thought he would need for a month at the Burrow. He didn't bother trying to get to sleep, knowing that Ron and Hermione would be in to question him any minute.

True to form less than 10 minutes after him, the pair walked in and sat on the plush rug on the floor. With a friendship as deep as theirs, they needed no preamble when something needed to be discussed. There was no point to small talk. Harry sat with them and gave a very condensed version of all that he had learned. Hermione was rather taken aback when Harry told them that Dumbledore wanted them both there the next day, Ron however was over the moon.

After talking for almost two hours, Harry was finally able to lie in bed and close his eyes. He hoped that he was exhausted enough to fall asleep and not be plagued by nightmares. Of course, that was not going to be the case, it never was.

Somewhere in a very different part of the country Draco Malfoy was plagued with his own nightmares. His weren't memories of fears for the future however. His were very much real and happening while wide awake.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N –** Just a quick thank you to those who left a review on the last chapter even the ones that were just random letters!?

Just a reminder that this is extremely AU post OOTP and I am ignoring a lot of Harry Potter lore.

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

The next morning Harry woke with a sense of complete and overwhelming dread. It took a long while to convince himself that he was, in fact, safe in Percy's bed and not back in the department of mysteries watching Sirius fall through the veil once more. Once again, he wished for normal dreams, the ones that his dorm mates had, the ones that caused awkward moments and sticky sheets. He may have accepted his fate but that did not mean he had to like it.

He forced himself out of bed and into the shared bathroom. A hot shower can, on some days, work better than a coffee. This however, was not one of those days. Forcing himself to get dressed he slumped downstairs in search of something that would make his eye lids feel a little less like anvils. The sun was only just visible on the horizon, but Mr Weasley was already up and dressed. He took one look at Harry and silently poured an extra mug of coffee.

"Morning Mr Weasley," Harry stifled a yawn, flopping down onto a chair. "You're up early."

"As are you," Arthur said leaning against the sink. "Dumbledore needs my help this morning. Something happened last night, and he needs everyone who is available."

"Yeah, he mentioned something was going down last night." The coffee was starting to make him think clearly again. "Any ideas on what it was?"

"Haven't the foggiest." Arthur drained his cup with a flourish. "Can't be anything too serious though or he would have needed me there last night. You'll find out in a few hours I expect. I better get a wriggle on, I need to head there before the ministry."

"I'll see you tonight." Harry watched as Mr Weasley walked out of the front door, down the path and then disappeared with the crack of apparition.

Again, Harry was left alone with his own thoughts, never a pleasant feeling these days. After pouring a second coffee Harry was starting to get restless. He picked himself up and decided on a walk through the Weasleys' garden. He spent some time watching the gnomes scurry under bushes and smelt the flowers in the far corner. He watched birds fly and a rather daring rabbit scuttle across the ground. Some day in a post Dark Lord world he would like to have his own garden to walk in, if he lived to see that life.

Eventually as the sun grew higher, the noise from inside the Burrow gradually grew into a dull roar. Harry figured it was time to head back in. Before he opened the door however, he heard the unmistakeable sound of a very ticked off Ron.

"George you complete ass hat! Put it back now!"

"Can't little bro," George said in a very calm manner. "No counter jinx"

"Sorry little Rony you'll have to just grow it out." Even through the door Harry could tell Fred was trying not to laugh.

"I can't walk around like this for months I'll be laughed at!" Ron sounded mortified.

Harry could not wait any longer, curiosity being the dangerous beast that it is. The sight that met him when he opened the door made him feel like every birthday and Christmas had all come at once. There was Ron standing in the kitchen, tall, freckly and long nosed just as normal. What was not normal, was the violently red hair that signified every Weasley was replaced with a pink so bright it looked like it was out of a little muggle girls cartoon. Hermione was standing beside him looking like she was using all of her will to not laugh. Ginny was making no such effort.

"Looking good Ron." Harry said putting his mug down in the sink. "Do the curtains match the drapes?"

Harry was very glad that Ron didn't have his wand, because the look he got made it very plain that Harry would have been hexed within an inch of his life, laws regarding underaged magic be damned. He did however have a glass which he promptly threw, Harry sidestepped it easily.

"It's our new product," Fred explained excitedly. "Permanent hair colouring. Guaranteed to never fade. We needed to test effectiveness."

"Why did you have to put it in my shampoo though?" Ron bellowed. "Don't you usually test this rubbish on yourself?"

"What and end up looking like a twat for months?" George looked aghast.

"Nah," answered Fred. "See we figured you wouldn't mind, seeing as you're already a twat that is."

Fred was saved from whatever Ron was planning by the appearance of Mrs Weasley entering from the laundry. She took one look at Ron and demanded that the twins clean out every bathroom without magical assistance. It didn't matter how old you were in the Weasley house, if mother said go, you leave without looking back. Ron stormed upstairs and came back wearing a beanie which wasn't overly successful at hiding the pink popping onto his collar.

After a substantial breakfast of eggs and sausages, Mrs Weasley kept sneaking extra onto Harry's plate, Harry, Hermione and Bill cleaned up while the rest sat around discussing their days. Ron sat sulking in his chair refusing to talk to anyone. After the very last dish was put away Harry put on his shoes and said "We should get going. I'm not sure when we'll be back Mrs Weasley, Dumbledore kept me for hours yesterday."

Molly nodded stiffly, she had made her thoughts on teenagers having anything to with the dangers of the Order very clear. She had however eventually accepted that her hands were tied. Harry and Hermione were not officially her children, and Ron would never allow his best friends to risk themselves without him.

The three stepped through the floo together. They had debated at length the night before about what this meeting could be about. Nothing that they had come up with seemed to be at all feasible however. So, it was with great trepidation that they stepped into the kitchen of Grimmauld Place.

Dumbledore was sitting with a rather haggard looking Kingsley Shacklebolt and Nymphadora Tonks. When they saw the trio the aurors stood, they had obviously had a rough night.

"We will see you soon Albus." Kingsley said to Dumbledore and nodded to the three, Tonks winked at them before they both left through the kitchen door.

"They look buggered." Ron said.

"We have had an interesting night Mr Weasley." Albus sighed. "Please sit, we have much to discuss." Dumbledore looked at them without really seeing.

"Sir, what's happened?" Harry was concerned.

"Something that can only be described as bitter sweet Harry. Last night we all saw how beautiful and yet painfully sad love can be. We watched a mother give up her only son knowing that there is every chance that she will never see him again. Nothing is ever as simple as black and white, especially in times of war. We all at some point in our lives fall victim to circumstance, something I am sure the three of you know all too well."

Hermione looked like she was about to cry, and Harry could understand the impulse. Here was the only wizard who could scare the darkest wizard in an age, looking thoroughly broken hearted and almost defeated.

"Harry as I told you yesterday, our latest intel suggests that Voldemort is hiding out in Ireland. We cannot pin point exactly where, but we can trace him to a general location. What I didn't mention is that it looks like he will be moving soon. Once he does we will know exactly where he will be but with no way of catching him." Dumbledore rubbed his eyes.

"Where will he be?" Harry asked.

"Malfoy Manor." Dumbledore said simply. "The extra wards and security being placed there leave us with very little doubt. Plus, there is the added confirmation from an inside source."

"Snape." Ron said.

Dumbledore nodded. "He is who originally brought us the information about the increased security measures but not the confirmation." Dumbledore paused as if weighing his words. "No, it was Narcissa Malfoy who gave us this information."

"No, it's a trap." Harry said without a moment's hesitation, of this he was certain. "Lucius put her up to it, there is no way she would betray him!"

"As I said Harry, sometimes we fall victim to circumstance." Dumbledore sighed. "Let me explain.

"Narcissa Malfoy came to me the day after the events at the Ministry of Magic. She wanted to conduct, an exchange of sorts. I took every precaution within my power to ensure she was genuine and after multiple visits we did eventually come to an understanding. She would provide us with all of the information that she possessed regarding Voldemort and the added security placed on the manor under one condition. Which is the condition that we were fulfilling last night. All Narcissa Malfoy wanted was for us to take in her son.

"Narcissa has been forced to watch Draco fall victim to her husband's brutal anger for far years. She then had to watch him suffer under her sister and Lord Voldemort. We devised a plan to make it look as though Draco had run away. She believes that if they were both to leave, nothing would stop Lucius from tracking them down. Lucius may be in prison now, but we do not kid ourselves into believing that he will stay there. When he does escape, he will come looking for Draco and only the power of the order will be enough to keep him safe."

"Where is he now professor?" Hermione breathed, a hand on her mouth.

"Why miss Granger, he is upstairs." Dumbledore said with a half-smile. "Our plan seems to have been successful."

Harry was lost for words, he knew from intimate experience the power a mother's love could carry, but this was just all too much. Draco Malfoy, King of Slytherin, muggle born hater and Harry's personal tormentor was being given full Order of the Phoenix protection.

"Sir I understand why Narcissa has done this," Hermione, as always, found her footing first. "But how can we know for certain Draco is on board? How do we know that he doesn't want to become a Death Eater like his father?"

"He's made it no secret that he hates muggle borns." Ron was starting to twitch, he was obviously as uncomfortable and doubtful as Harry. "He wanted Hermione to be attacked in second year, actually rooted for Harry to die in the Triwizard and helped the school become unbearable last year with Umbridge."

"Nothing I can say can take away his past misdeeds." Dumbledore agreed. "But I have come to know and understand Draco recently and I promise you this, the son is not the father. He does not have his father's anger or his vindictiveness. If you give him a chance you may find that he is actually quite a nice young man, with a very quick wit"

"Why here?" Harry was looking down at his hands as he spoke. "Why are we keeping him here?"

"It is only temporary Harry. If it makes you uncomfortable having him here I will take him with me back to Hogwarts today." Dumbledore said.

"Where will he go next?" Harry asked.

"Tomorrow when we are satisfied that the death eaters have not realised that we have him, he will be moved to Tonk's parents. Her mother is Narcissa's sister, Draco's aunt. Would you prefer him to not be here tonight?" Dumbledore was asking not as a teacher but as a peer.

"There's no point moving him twice in a day just to move again tomorrow. But he's not to go anywhere near Sirius's room." Harry was allowed to be stubborn.

"Of course," The laughter in Dumbledore's eyes was clear. "Shall I see if he would like to join us?" The three nodded mutely and Dumbledore rose to search for the Malfoy heir.

"This is bloody bonkers." Ron leaned his chair back and swung on two legs. "Do we trust him?"

"Dumbledore seems to." Hermione said as if this settled the matter.

"Yeah but he has been fooled in the past." Harry said, thinking of Pettigrew. "I'll believe it when I see it, even then I can't say I'll ever like the guy."

They lapsed into silence, a silence that changed from amicable to awkward to thick when Dumbledore returned, Draco following behind.

After what seemed like an age for the four teens staring at each other, Draco said. "Weasley is your hair pink?"

Hermione and Harry snickered while Ron muttered, "Still a git then."

"Sorry Ron, I meant to mention it, the beanie doesn't actually help." Hermione tried to tuck some of the hair away.

Ron stood suddenly very upset about his hair again. "Professor was there anything else you needed from us?"

"No Ronald, the three of you are free to go." Dumbledore said with a touch of amusement.

"You coming?" Ron asked Harry as he and Hermione went to the fire place.

"Not yet, I want to look for something." This wasn't a lie per say, more of a half-truth. Yes he wanted to look for some photos of Sirius and his parents, but he also wanted to see if he could figure out exactly what about Malfoy had Dumbledore convinced.

Hermione gave him a quizzical look but said nothing, she turned and followed Ron into the Floo.

"Do I need to stay and ensure that headquarters will still be in one piece when I return or will the two of you at least try and act responsible?" Dumbledore asked when Ron and Hermione had left.

"We'll be fine sir, I have no desire to be expelled again." Harry said with a smile.

"Very well, it has been too long since I was at the school and I shudder to think what Peeves and Mr Filch have done to each other." Dumbledore gathered up the stray pieces of parchment and made his own way to the Floo. "Mr Malfoy, Severus will be joining you tonight. Harry I will see you again soon."

And with that Dumbledore was gone, leaving the two boys alone together. It struck Harry suddenly that this was the first time that they were alone together since they first met in Diagon Alley six years ago. Suddenly staying behind seemed like a very stupid idea indeed. He quickly got to his feet and made to leave the kitchen.

"Potter," Malfoy said as Harry made to leave. "Thank you, Dumbledore said this was your place. So, you know, thanks for letting me stay."

"Ah, you're welcome I guess. I don't actually live here so it's no skin off my back." Harry had never felt more awkward, not even during his disastrous relationship with Cho. "Plus you may not be thanking me tomorrow, this place is creepy."

With that Harry scuttled up to Sirius' room. Walking in was like an outer body experience. He felt connected yet oddly separated from the place. His godfather hated it here, but this is where he grew up and spent the last year of his life. Harry was starting to think that it was all too much too soon when he saw a small wooden box sitting on the bedside table. He felt inexplicably drawn to it, cracking open the lid he gasped, this what exactly what he had wanted to find.

Lying on top of the folded parchment was a photo of Sirius and Lupin with his mum and dad, sitting in the middle was a tiny green-eyed baby boy. Harry figured it Pettigrew was the one with the camera, he was pretty sure Sirius wouldn't leave any photos of Wormtail lying around. Harry sat on the bed and went through the box, it was filled with photos and letters from his parents and Lupin. He took great care with each one and tried not to feel too guilty about going through Sirius' personal items. At the bottom of the box he found what looked like a newer piece of parchment folded up. Fingers trembling, he unrolled it.

 _Harry,  
If you're reading this I must no longer be there with you.  
This is a box of my favourite people in the world. It's these memories that kept me sane in Azkaban.  
Please don't hide away from the world because I'm gone. You have given me so much to be proud of. You are stronger than you let yourself to be believe. If there is one regret I have it is that I missed so much of your life. I know I've said that before, but I don't think you'll ever understand.  
Know that I died loving you like my own son.  
You are loved Harry, more than you could possibly know.  
Always your friend first.  
Sirius._

Harry began to cry quietly. He missed Sirius so much and he didn't think any amount of time would ever make the pain less intense.

Driven to get up after a very loud rumble in his stomach, Harry was shocked at how much time had passed. He had missed lunch and it was getting close to dinner. Carefully placing the photos and letters back in the box, Harry took it with him as he shut the door.

Quietly so not to wake the portrait of Sirius' mother, Harry walked down the stairs heading for the fireplace in the kitchen. He stopped short when he heard voices through the door.

"What do you mean he's still here?" You could be completely incapable of hearing and still be able to recognise the oily nature of Snape's voice.

"I mean he went upstairs a few hours ago and hasn't come back down." Malfoy responded coldly. "I haven't moved from here so he couldn't have snuck out."

"And he's not injured? I would not have issue if you did hurt him, but that's not the best way to prove to the Order that you want to be here." Harry rolled his eyes at Snape's comment.

"No Severus I didn't hurt him. He said that he was looking for something and he's been in one of the rooms upstairs ever since." Draco responded.

"Are you suddenly going to be friends with our golden boy? Why Dumbledore would be ever so proud, he's always going on about school unity." Snape sneered.

"No we're not friends, I'm just not going to try and kill him. I don't care about any of that bullocks any more. What I think of him doesn't matter. I could care less if he beats me at Quidditch or who he decides to befriend, none of that matters!" Draco was starting to sound frenzied. "When are you going back for her?"

"We've been over this Draco," Severus sounded defeated. "She won't leave. She is convinced that leaving will put you in more danger than you're already in. The Dark Lord is furious that you left before he could mark you."

"Then kidnap her! I don't care how it is done! Bring her here!" There was a crash and Harry was fairly certain that Draco had thrown a plate.

"Grow up child!" Snape said his voice suddenly loud. "In case it has somehow escaped your notice, privileged as you are, but you are in no place to negotiate. We cannot force her to leave against her will, we do that and we're no better than him. Anyway you know her, as soon as we turn our backs she will return. She is very well aware of the fact that she may not get out of this alive, but she doesn't want you to make the same mistakes that she did.

"Yes, you are only 16 but life has decided that you need to grow up faster. We cannot save her Draco." Snape sounded sad at his own words.

There was only silence after this and Harry knew that he needed to get out. Making noise in the hallway to announce himself Harry walked into the kitchen. He noticed that Draco kept his head down, Harry was fairly sure that he was crying.

"Potter." Snape growled as Harry entered.

"Snape." Harry returned the growl. "Don't mind me, I'm on my way out."

Harry didn't even try to get into an awkward conversation. He strode straight to the fireplace and left before he could overhear anything else. He now understood what Dumbledore had said. This was not the son of Lucius Malfoy.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN/** I'm so sorry for the delay, I've had some personal dramas. This fic is 80% finished and the rest is all planned out.

 **Chapter 3**

Harry's summer at the Burrow sped past in very weird ways. Sometimes it seemed as if he would blink and four days would pass, others he would find himself watching the clock feeling very single second tick by. Despite wishing so, being back at the Burrow did not mean an end to his ever-present nightmares. He found himself staying up later and later trying to avoid the point in which sleep engulfed him.

Hermione, as was her nature, noticed that no matter how much sleep he got he always looked exhausted. "You need to talk about them Harry," She urged on a rare afternoon that they found themselves alone. "They aren't just going to go away."

"There's no point Hermione," Harry said slightly exasperated. "I've talked about it all a thousand times. I've told you, Dumbledore and Sirius, it never gets better. I just need to focus on what I can control."

Hermione huffed. "You're seeing Dumbledore tomorrow yes?"

"Yeah, I'll head to headquarters straight after breakfast." Harry started to flick through _A Standard Book of Spells, Chapter Six._ "I'm really hoping for an update on how Malfoy is actually." Harry hadn't told Ron and Hermione what he had overheard, just that he understood what Dumbledore was talking about.

"That's not what I mean Harry and you know it." She snatched the book out of his hands. "Talk to Dumbledore about your dreams, for all you know it could be him again."

"It's not Voldemort." Of this Harry was sure. "After everything that happened last year, I've learned to tell the difference between dreams and reality."

Hermione looked quite cross but didn't harp on about it. Harry loved Hermione, he really did, but she just didn't understand what it was like to be terrified of your own mind. Sure, talking about it might make it easier to live with but it wouldn't make the memories any less real. Most of what he dreamed of he had seen happen. These are things that he just needed to learn how to deal with.

Hermione didn't bring up their conversation again until he was about to leave to see Dumbledore. Grabbing his arm she whispered, "He really could help you Harry."

Harry just rolled his eyes and walked into the fireplace. If he still had Sirius to talk to, he would have without a second thought, but Dumbledore had much bigger things to worry about than whether Harry was getting a decent night's sleep. Draco Malfoy for instance. Harry had found himself thinking about the scene between Malfoy and Snape a lot of the weeks. He knows how furious he would have been if Malfoy had seen him cry like that, he had to imagine the feeling was mutual.

Stepping out of the Floo into Grimmauld Place's kitchen Harry saw Dumbledore sitting at the head of the table looking completely at peace with the world. He found this quite impressive considering the rather loud disagreement happening directly behind his Headmaster. Remus and Snape were obviously in the middle of a rather heated argument. Harry was astounded, Remus never rose his voice. In fact, even considering what he turned into every month the man could have been a monk.

The subject of the argument was revealed when Remus threw up his hands and said. "Grow up and see what is right in front of you! He is not James and he is not Sirius! He is twice the man any one of us even hoped to be!"

Snape scoffed. "You don't see the arrogance he walks around with daily. He should in no way be trusted with this and I refuse to be a part of this obvious attempt to coddle the boy."

"Gentlemen," Dumbledore said over his tea cup. "I really feel as though we've had enough bickering for the day don't you?"

"Harry!" Remus exclaimed with a smile when he tore his eyes away from Snape. "How long have you been there?"

"I will take that as my queue to leave." Snape said with a sniff. "Albus if you don't mind I will give you my report back at the school."

Dumbledore breathed out audibly. "Very well but you do realise,"

"Yes, yes I know that Potter will hear it either way." Snape interrupted. He turned and left through the front door.

"What have I done now?" Harry asked sitting down next to Dumbledore. "School hasn't even started yet and I'm already front page of his bad books." Harry was fairly certain that he held a permanent place there.

"You've done nothing Harry," Remus said in a reassuring tone. "Sirius was just right about him, he's just a slimy git."

"Severus is a proud man." Dumbledore interjected. "He also does not feel that an underaged wizard should be a part of the Order in any capacity. A feeling shared by others."

"All of that may be true professor." Harry said pouring some team from the pot on the table. "But that doesn't mean that what Remus said isn't."

Remus smiled at him then, "Sometimes you really are your father's son."

Dumbledore had the slightest hint of a smile on his face. "Moving on, it is time to fill you in and I am sorry to say the only news to report is that Voldemort has indeed relocated. We have no hope of finding him because on top of the security measures we discussed, he has used the Fidelius Charm. From what little Professor Snape can has been able to say, I have to assume that Voldemort himself is the secret keeper.

"Because of this there is now no longer any way to keep Narcissa Malfoy safe." Dumbledore suddenly looked very much his age. "Voldemort seems to be punishing her until Lucius can return and prove his loyalty. According to Kingsley, who saw Lucius in his cell last week, he is very keen to do so. It is quite the depressing thought knowing that you are completely powerless to help those who need it. Professor Snape can only go so far without risking his position."

The room fell silent for what felt like an age, all three men lost in thoughts of morality. When Harry couldn't take his own thoughts any longer, he asked, "Sir, what's going to happen to Malfoy?"

"Draco?" Dumbledore asked, Harry nodded in response. "He and I spoke last night. He is understandably still heart broken. He has, however reluctantly, accepted his mother's sacrifice. He will return to Hogwarts in two days and remain there until such time that it is no longer advisable. We have instructed him to use protective charms on his bed at night and to only use the prefect's bathroom. We are not completely naive enough to believe that the children of death eaters won't try to curry favour by hurting Draco."

Harry was still concerned. "You said until it is no longer desirable, what happens then?"

"If it becomes clear that it is no longer safe for Draco to remain at Hogwarts we will have no choice but to remove him." Dumbledore admitted. "We have already gained the necessary permissions from Narcissa, as Draco is underage still, to home school him. The problem we have is finding a place to hide him. As things stand I do not think it would be advisable to do this at his mother's sisters' home. It would be far too obvious, even with the estrangement."

"He needs to be here." The surety in Harry's voice surprised even him. "The Order can protect him best from Headquarters and it wouldn't make sense to waste time setting up the same protections on another house. It would spread us far too thin, Voldemort will outnumber us soon."

"Are you certain Harry?" Remus said, finally speaking up. "It is no secret to anyone how you two feel about each other."

Harry shook his head, Malfoy's words from the month before echoing in his mind. "None of that matters anymore. It's just a petty school yard rivalry and we both have much bigger things to worry about now, don't you think?"

"I don't think I have ever met a more remarkable young man." Dumbledore smiled at Harry you turned a brilliant shade of magenta.

The last two days at the Burrow was spent frantically packing. Everyone's robes were mixed up and belongings were all misplaced. Hermione found a book, two quills and one of Harrys socks in the chicken coop. Before they knew it though, they were pushing their trunks full of their own belongings along the Hogwarts Express looking for an empty compartment. The three travelled to Hogwarts with Luna and Neville.

Half way through the trip, Harry was returning from the bathroom and saw Malfoy sitting by himself in the compartment closest to the driver. He opened the door and said, "Malfoy." In another life he would have been amused at how skittish the boy had become, now it was actually kind of sad.

"Potter," Malfoy said picking his book up from the floor. "No need to worry. My dear friends have already come by and I gave nothing away. They all just think I've abandoned the Dark Lord, they don't know where you come in."

"Oh, um, good I guess? That's actually not why I came in." Harry rubbed the back of his neck.

"Then enlighten me, why are you here." Malfoy closed his book and put it on his lap.

Harry shrugged. "You looked lonely and I figured that life's shit enough and maybe you'd like company that wasn't just people gawking at you" An article in the daily prophet that morning had broken the news of Draco's run away. "Merlin knows I know from experience that it's not the greatest feeling."

Malfoy frowned at him. "You don't actually have to be nice to me you know. I mean I've never exactly given you any reason to."

"This might come has a shock to you, but you never actually _have_ to be nice to anyone." Harry smirked. "Usually people do it because they want to. It's usually one of those things that decent people do to each other."

Instead of being insulated Malfoy smiled at him. "I'm fine Potter, I'm a big boy, I can go to the loo on my own and everything. Now run along before someone sends out a saviour search party."

Harry actually had to reluctantly admit, this was something that could happen, he wouldn't put it past Hermione anyway. "Right, well I'll see you Malfoy."

"Toodles Potter." Malfoy picked up his book and Harry returned to his own compartment.

Sitting down in the seat closest to the door, Harry kept one eye on the corridor for the rest of the journey. Every time a Slytherin walked by, Harry would stand at the door to ensure no one was giving Malfoy a hard time. He took a moment to ask himself if he had actually been thrown into an alternative universe.

As they pulled into Hogsmeade station and found a carriage, Harry was jabbed sharply in the knee by Ron's foot. "Ouch, what the hell was that for?"

"You've been lost in thought all afternoon. I figured you needed a bit of a jolt." Ron shrugged. Mrs Weasley had given him a hair growth solution, so the vibrant pink was unfortunately gone. The photos however will live to haunt Ron until the end of time.

"Anyway," Neville said as the carriage took off. "Do you think it's true?"

"Is what true?" Harry asked, rubbing his throbbing knee.

"Neville was talking about the article in the prophet about Malfoy." Hermione explained.

"Yeah, I mean he's always been horrible, so I assumed he'd happily follow his father." Neville looked confused. "But why would he run away, is it a trick?"

"Daddy says that what Draco did was brave." Luna said, not looking up from her copy of the Quibbler. "He says turning away from your family is the hardest thing someone could ever do."

"I don't know honestly," Said Harry. "I guess we just have to wait and see."

"Yeah but I've said it before," Ron said putting his feet on the chair in front of him. "He'll always be a git."

"Maybe," Harry scowled out of the window, this year was shaping up to be rather strange.

"Harry?" Hermione asked tentatively. "Katie Bell came by the compartment while you were gone. She said that you turned down Quidditch captain and quit the team."

Harry nodded, frankly he was surprised that something wasn't mentioned sooner. "Yeah, well, I figured I'd have enough on my plate this year."

The rest of the ride was spent with Neville and Ron urging him to reconsider. Harry was mentally cursing Hermione for bringing it up when he couldn't run away. His friends' pleas feel on deaf ears, his mind was made up. The day he got the captain's badge Harry had felt nothing, there was no shock or elation. Actually, the weight on his shoulders felt heavier, one more thing he had to worry about. Before getting the badge he hadn't thought about leaving the team, but after he sent his resignation to McGonagall he felt a little lighter. He now had more time to devote to destroying Voldemort.

After the sorting and the welcoming feast Harry watched as Draco left the hall with the first years, leading them to the dungeons. Harry had to wonder how he was going to manage being alone without Crabbe, Goyle and Nott. All of their fathers were in Voldemort's inner circle, surely Draco must have been stamped as a traitor by now. Harry trusted Dumbledore but he felt that his professor had a habit of blindly trusting anyone. Evidence of this was walking towards the entrance hall now.

"Snape's looking rather full of himself, isn't he?" Seamus said, standing next to Harry.

"Of course he does." Harry grumbled. "He's finally got everything he's ever wanted."

The Gryffindor sixth years all made their way up to the tower together. As he got ready for bed Harry made sure to cast a silencing spell on his curtains. He had a hard enough time with Hermione nagging him about his dreams, he didn't want the pity he was sure to get from Dean, Seamus and Neville. Harry was aware that Ron knew about them, but he never bugged Harry about it, knowing that if Harry wanted to, he'd be there to talk about it.

That night there was a new dream. Voldemort tortured everyone Harry knew, trying to force Harry to tell him the location of Malfoy. Harry was left standing amongst the bodies of all of the people he loved the most, having betrayed Malfoy and the Order itself. Harry was left completely alone.

Harry's sixth year started the next day in a pool of sweat, at least being back at Hogwarts meant he could clean them easily enough with magic. Sighing he opened the curtains and looked out of the window, the sun wasn't up yet. Harry set about getting ready for his day, gathering his book bag he decided on a walk around the castle was a much better use of his time than sitting around waiting for his friends to wake up.

As Harry's feet carried him through the halls, he had to admit that he loved this castle. The walls had seen so much over the years, countless young witches and wizards have walked the same steps he was. They had learned and laughed, fallen in love and fought passionately. He wondered whether his parents would sneak down this corridor for a stolen moment alone. They, like most of the past students, were long since gone. Instead of becoming depressed by the thought, Harry found it oddly beautiful.

Looking around, Harry found that his feet had led him up to the Astronomy Tower. Walking to the window, he watched the new day dawn. Somewhere out there, Harry mused, Lord Voldemort lay in wait. Harry found himself wondering what the Dark Lord was doing in this moment. Was he peacefully asleep, confident in the knowledge that no one dare touch him? Or was he too paranoid of treason to ever let himself become truly vulnerable? At the end of the day, he was still born a mortal man. Shivering at where his thoughts had taken him, a Voldemort with humanity, Harry pushed himself away and figured it was now late enough to venture down for breakfast.

Harry's first month passed in a blur. Classes were more demanding, and everyone seemed to want to be his friend now that he was the chosen one, the-boy-who-lived again. When he wasn't busy with homework, Harry was in the library researching advance defence against the dark arts spells. He was determined to be as prepared for Voldemort as possible, he couldn't always rely on luck and ancient magic to protect him.

At the end of September Harry slipped away from Ron and Hermione for his monthly catch up with Dumbledore. Sitting the desk however Harry thought that his time would have been better spent learning the destruction charm he was reading about earlier. Sighing he returned his attention to his headmaster.

"I know it's disappointing Harry but until he acts we can only learn so much." Dumbledore admitted. "The positive thing is he does not seem to know exactly how much we know of his plans."

"But we barely know anything." Harry fought to keep the petulance out of his voice. "All we know is that he's in hiding and planning another Azkaban break."

"Yes and because we know this we can be vigilant." Dumbledore said calmly. "Because we know to expect an attack we can try to be prepared."

"But we can't know for certain exactly when it's going to happen so we can't be fully prepared for it." Harry argued.

"That unfortunately is the curse of being human Harry." Dumbledore sighed. "Omniscience is not a power available to mere mortals."

Before Harry could respond the office door swung open violently. Snape hurried through uninvited, when he saw Harry he said, "I thought you'd be alone."

Harry couldn't help but notice that Snape wasn't his usual calm and collected self. His mask of indifference had slipped, and he look almost frightened. Dumbledore must have noticed as well because he said, "What has happened Severus?"

With a side long glance at Harry, clearly annoyed that the boy was not asked to leave, Snape said, "Draco has been attacked."

Both Harry and Dumbledore moved forward in their seats, both looking concerned. "Where?" Dumbledore asked.

"Outside of the prefect's bathroom. The Ravenclaw girl, Chang, found him left for dead, on the way back to her common room." Snape said sitting in the spare chair, looking ruffled. "Poppy and I just finished with him. He is unconscious, but I think he will recover. He was in a very bad way."

"Are there no clues on the identity of the assailants?" Dumbledore asked.

"Draco was awake long enough to tell me that he was attacked from behind" Snape answered with disgust. "His injuries suggest that this is the truth. Cowardice at its peak."

Harry bit back the retort of Malfoy wanting to do the same to him in forth year, instead he said. "He needs to leave professor. You said that he would only stay here as long as it was safe. It's not anymore. You owe it to him and his mother to get him out."

"As much as I am loath to admit it," Snape actually seemed to be in pain at his next words. "Potter is right. We cannot watch him every second. It was a risk to bring him back, a risk that now has too high a cost. We can assume that it was Crabbe, Goyle or Nott but we really have no idea who to trust."

Dumbledore hung his head. "We will make the arrangements for when he is discharged. We will make it look as though he was transferred to St Mungos. Harry are you still open to Draco residing at Grimmauld Place?" Harry nodded. "Very well, I will pass on his studies to Remus and Kingsley, they will teach him for the rest of the year. Arthur and Bill have offered to assist as well."

Snape stood and said. "We need to shrink our circle." With that he turned and left.

Dumbledore just watched him leave. "Well Harry, it is time we say goodnight. Remember, be careful of what you repeat, you never know who is listening. I will move Draco a week from tomorrow."

Harry nodded and left the office behind him, he felt sick at the idea that there could be someone that they weren't already aware of connected to the Death Eaters. Snape seemed to think they could have a traitor in our midst, again. Harry made his way through the common room and found Ron and Hermione in a corner whispering.

"Harry," Hermione said as he sat down with them. "Did you hear about Malfoy?"

Harry couldn't help but smile at the Hogwarts rumour mill, nothing did stay silent for long. "Yeah I was with Dumbledore when Snape told him."

Before he could elaborate, Seamus and Dean sat down with them. Apparently rumours ranged from Harry attacking him to Draco doing it himself. A Hufflepuff third year was trying to convince anyone who listened that Voldemort had broken into the castle to do it.

Hermione scoffed. "Seriously, some people will believe anything."

Over the next few days teachers found themselves having to hand out detentions to those that caught trying to get a glimpse at Malfoy. Madam Pomphrey got so annoyed that she conjured curtains to hide him from view. The positive of the attack was that most people seemed to now believe that Malfoy was in face, a victim, not some pawn used by Voldemort. Ron's mantra of 'he's still a git though' was picked up by half of the school.

The night before Malfoy was scheduled to leave, Harry found himself sneaking around under his cloak with a very familiar map. He'd discussed his plan with Hermione and she had agreed that it was the right thing to do. Ron thought he was nuts but didn't argue. So, at midnight, well past curfew, Harry slipped into the hospital wing and behind the curtains around Malfoy's bed. After casting a quick silencing charm Harry ripped off of his invisibility cloak with a flourish.

"Potter!" Draco shrieked and threw the book he was holding, it missed Harry's head by a fingernail. "You and that bloody cloak! What do you want?"

Harry snickered at Malfoy's reaction, riling him up will always be fun. "I have something for you." Harry folded up his father's cloak and handed it over."

Draco looked stunned. "But, why?"

"As hard it is to say, we don't know who to trust." Harry said sitting on the side of the bed. "It's a loan by the way, I'm going to need that back."

"But I'm going to headquarters, surely I wont need this there." Draco was stroking the cloak in disbelief.

"Dumbledore is adamant that everyone in the Order is trustworthy." Harry said looking directly into Malfoy's eyes. "I know personally that the people you trust aren't always deserving of it." Harry cast a thought to Wormtail. "The people who know you're under the Order's protection are me, Hermione, the Weasleys, Kingsley, Tonks and her family, Remus, Snape and Dumbledore. If anyone else is in the house, wear the cloak."

"I don't need you to protect me." Draco muttered.

"It's not about protecting you," Harry said as he stood up. "It's about protecting yourself."

Draco nodded and placed the cloak under his pillow. "What are you going to do? You're always disappearing under this thing."

Harry nodded, not at all surprised that Malfoy had seen him do it. They had always been hyper vigilant of each other. "I'll make do." With a flick of his wand Harry cast a near perfect disillusionment charm.

"Show off."

"Git." Harry's disembodied voice said. After throwing the book back to Draco, Harry exited the hospital, barely a ripple was visible.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 _Potter  
Your house is bloody creepy. Who in the name of Merlin lets a senile old elf have full reign of their home?  
Also why do you have a tapestry with the names of some of the evillest wizards to ever exist? I thought you were meant to be the good guys.  
DM_

Harry gave a snort of amusement as he read Draco's letter over breakfast. Malfoy had left Hogwarts two weeks earlier and this was the first time he had heard anything from or about him. His departure, as predicted, did not go unnoticed by the students. The school was abuzz with speculation on his whereabouts. Harry and Hermione tried to use this opportunity to figure out who had attacked Malfoy, surely they would be feeling pretty smug right about now. They had no such luck however. The Slytherins all seemed to not give a damn and most of the other students, although they had started to sympathise with him, still felt that Draco had it coming.

Harry pulled out a quill and parchment and began his reply.

 _DM  
I usually hate to say I told you so but because it's you, I have to say I'm very much enjoying it. The place is weird! Kreacher is an evil cretin but he is essentially harmless if you're nice to him. Your half Black so if you tell him who your mother is he'll probably worship the ground you walk on.  
Your great aunt had a habit of disowning anyone who was halfway decent and burnt them off the family tree, that's probably why you're still on there.  
Don't forget to lock your door at night!  
HP_

The weeks started to morph together for Harry. Between homework, extra Voldemort study, keeping up with his new pen pal and yet another seemingly pointless meeting with Dumbledore, Harry barely had a chance to register that it was already Halloween. The day had started out normal enough, well as normal as things could get at Hogwarts. He woke up, had breakfast, went to class, had lunch and went to class again. If it wasn't for the feast, Harry would have been inclined to call it boring. Hogwarts feasts always had the air of splendour. Oversized pumpkins, singing skeletons and a truly gluttonous amount of food littered the Great Hall. Harry had to smile when he saw the first years see it for the first time, remembering his owning dramatic first Halloween at the school.

Just as he was about to bite into a piece of turkey, Hermione unrolled her copy of the evening prophet and gave a small scream. She threw the paper on the table and Harry felt a surge of anger as he watched Lucius Malfoy's photo sneer up at him.

 _Azkaban Fails Us Again_

 _For the third time in almost as many years, witches and wizards throughout the country will be sleeping less soundly. If our lives were not already in turmoil with the ever-present threat of an attack by you-know-who, the Evening Prophet is saddened to report that there has been yet another break out from the wizard prison Azkaban.  
Readers will undoubtedly remember the escape of, now exonerated and deceased, Sirius Black and the most unsettling mass escape of convicted Death Eaters just last year. In a statement from the ministry earlier today, it was confirmed that convicted Death Eaters Malfoy, Lastrange, Crabbe, Mulciber, Dolohov, McNair, Avery, Nott and Rookwood have escaped custody. All of these prisoners were apprehended inside the hall of prophecy in June.  
The wizarding world can be forgiven for feeling betrayed this evening. We all thought that we had finally found competence with Minister for Magic Rufus Scrimgeour, however we seem to be no better off than we were under Cornelius Fudge.  
The ministry is urging its people to be on high alert and to increase any and all security measures already in place.  
To read the full list of crimes committed by the convicts turn to pages 2, 3 and 4  
For a reprint of Ministry suggested security protocols turn to page 15_

"Blimey." Dean whispered

"Bloody hell" Ron looked mystified.

Harry glanced up to the teacher's bench. Dumbledore looked up at him with a guarded expression, he held up a chocolate frog. Harry inwardly groaned, he loved that he was trusted with Order secrets, but he had been looking forward to practicing some of the new defensive magic he had read about.

At ten to nine Harry let Hermione and Ron know where he was going and slipped out of the common room. He quickly muttered 'Chocolate Frog' to the gargoyle and followed the stairs up. Dumbledore's office was absolutely bursting it was so full. As well as the two of them there was Kingsley, Moody, McGonagall, Snape, Lupin, Tonks and Mr Weasley.

"He will not be reasoned with Albus." Kingsley was saying in his low voice. "He believes that he was chosen to lead because he is not afraid to act when necessary. He feels that we need to make a show of force."

"The man is touched." McGonagall huffed. "Can he not see that this will just cause more trouble not less?"

"Pride is a sin for a reason Minerva." The headmaster said, fingers steepled. "It corrupts the mind and the soul."

Harry cleared his throat. "Um professor?"

"Ah Harry, you made it." Dumbledore said with a smile. "Come in if you can fit and shut the door."

Harry slid along the wall until he was standing next to Remus. "What's happening?" He whispered.

"It appears that our fearless leader, Scrimgeour, has reinstated some of Crouch's old policies." Remus whispered back. "Once word of the break out reached his ears, he gave the order to let Aurors use unforgivable curses on suspected Death Eaters. I believe his words were 'kill on sight'."

"No way!" Harry's eyebrows shot up. "But that's just going to make the Aurors just as dangerous as the Death Eaters."

"Exactly." Lupin said with a solemn nod.

"Albus, do you think that there is any chance at all to change his mind?" Mr Weasley asked.

"No, not even a little. I have a meeting with the Wizengamot tomorrow and I am not hopeful that we will gain anything there either." Dumbledore said. "They are seeing any motion for leniency as sympathy for Voldemort's regime."

"But arresting innocent people and giving the Aurors a black check makes the ministry just as bad as Voldemort." Harry said in horror.

Dumbledore nodded. "I agree with you Harry. Alas, I believe the best that we can hope for is that under Kinsley's leadership the department may exercise some caution."

Kingsley shook his head in despair. "I have very brave and loyal people working below me. Every single one of them would lay down their lives happily to protect the innocent. However they have all spent their lives trying to prevent this war, some fought in the last one and some joined because of it. I doubt what I have to say will have much of an impact."

The room fell silent and Dumbledore studied them all intently. Eventually saying, "We were all aware that this day would probably come, the office of the Minister for Magic has always held too much power. All we can do now is deal with the fallout the best we can. Kingsley, Tonks and Moody please urge all of your colleagues to use as much caution as possible. One innocent death could be enough to topple the ministry. Remus and Arthur, get the word out about this. If we cause enough public outcry they may reconsider. Minerva and Severus, we should be expecting owls from concerned parents by morning. Be prepared."

All of the adults turned to leave. Remus gave Harry's shoulder a squeeze and Tonks gave him a sly wink. Snape glared at him with the utmost contempt, Harry returned it with equal measure. Before Harry followed he turned back to Dumbledore, "Sir, does Malfoy know? About his father."

"Yes he does, and he is understandably distraught." Dumbledore exhaled.

"I've been thinking," Harry said, letting an idea out that had been bubbling to the surface for a while now. "Well that house is really depressing as it is, and Malfoy is alone most of the time, that makes it even more so. I mean, I know it's still more than a month away, but I was thinking of spending Christmas there this year. Remus mentioned a couple of weeks ago that he'd like to spend it with me, you know going over spells and things I've been teaching myself, and the Burrow is already full without adding the two of us to it." Harry knew he was rambling but for some reason could not articulate what he wanted to say.

Dumbledore smiled his normal, infuriating, smile at him. "This will be a particularly difficult time for Mr Malfoy you are right. Are you certain this is the wisest course of action though? Both of your school records are filled with rather, shall we say, passionate altercations between the two of you."

"If he's willing to get over it enough to sleep in my house, I bloody well am too." Harry tried not to sound petulant, truly he did.

"It is your choice Harry, whatever you do." Dumbledore stood and walked to the door, holding it open. "If I can make a couple of suggestions though?" Harry nodded. "Write to Draco. It may be your home, but it will be a bit of a surprise to him if you turn up unannounced deciding to spend Christmas with him. Also, write to Molly, she really does enjoy your visits."

"Of course sir." Harry turned to leave.

"Oh one more thing," Dumbledore called as Harry was about to descend the stairs. "I really am proud of you, I trust that you believe that."

Harry merely smiled and returned to Gryffindor tower. Before going to bed he sat in the common room and wrote his letters.

 _Mr and Mrs Weasley  
Thank you for your invitation to spend Christmas break with you. As you know normally I would jump at the chance to be there. This year though I'm going to spend it with Lupin at Sirius' we really need some time together. I also need to make sure that our other guest isn't going too spare. You've seen his aunt I think it's hereditary!  
I will see you over the summer.  
Harry_

 _DM  
I'm coming home for Christmas, is that ok with you?  
I hope Kreacher hasn't baked you into a pie.  
HP_

The responses he received couldn't have been more different. 

_Harry  
You really must write to us more and tell Ron that goes for him as well. I swear if it wasn't for Hermione and Ginny I'd think you dead.  
That house truly is horrid dear are you completely sure?  
I do feel sorry for that poor boy, imagine having no one for Christmas!  
If you really are set in your plans then we will have to just bring a Weasley Christmas to you. I'll cook Christmas dinner at your house and we will have a proper family meal.  
We love you.  
Molly and Arthur_

 _HP  
It's your house why in the name of Merlin's left sock would I care?  
In actual fact once your crazy elf found out who my mother is, he has been quite pleasant. Unlike his owner he knows how to show respect where it is deserved.  
DM_

Harry didn't bother responding to Malfoy, the boy was a dick, but he jumped at the chance to have the Weasley's over Christmas Day. He sent his response and then told Ron and Hermione of his holiday plans. Hermione would be staying with the Weasley's as well.

Harry threw himself into his school work and, what he had inwardly started to call anti Voldemort study. He made the pleasant discovery that if he worked himself to exhaustion his nightmares were almost bearable. They didn't go away completely but they played as if it was a movie rather than him physically experiencing them.

As the weather grew colder and the snow started to fall, November changed to December. The Hogwarts Express was full of students going home to spend Christmas with their families, apparently every parent wanted their child home with them this year.

Lupin was standing waiting with the Weasleys as they got onto the platform. Mrs Weasley pulled him in for a very painful hug.

"We'll see you in a few days dear." She whispered into his hair.

"You owe me big for making me spend Christmas with the ferret Harry." Ron groaned, following his family and Hermione through the barrier.

"So Harry," Remus said with a smile. "How about you and I head back to headquarters? I'll make a pot of tea and you can tell me all about how simply unbearable Snape is being."

Harry chuckled. "The slimy wanker took 30 points yesterday because I wasn't setting an example by coming to class early. I wasn't even the last one there!"

"Did I ever tell you about the time James and Sirius locked him in Minerva's office without his pants or wand?"

Harry roared with laughter. He took Remus's arm and they apparated away to Grimmauld Place. The pair went straight to the kitchen and true to his word, Remus made a giant pot of tea and they sat and talked for hours. They talked about everything and nothing at all, Harry wondered if this is what it was like to have a brother. He loved every minute of it. Remus didn't reprimand him for losing points or scold him for breaking too many rules, he just listened intently.

As dinner time approached, Malfoy made his inevitable appearance. "I don't know how the two of you haven't woken that god-awful woman yet." Draco threw himself into a chair and scowled.

"Don't mind Draco today Harry, he's a tad touchy." Remus explained with a slight smile.

"I am not touchy." Draco poured himself a cup of tea looking affronted. "I'll have you know that I am highly offended."

"Oh my mistake." Remus said. His serious voice was betrayed by the laughter in his eyes. "Harry, Draco is a little touchy because he has been offended to the highest degree."

"What happened?" Harry didn't even attempt to hide his glee.

"Well," Remus leaned forward and said in a stage whisper. "Our young Mr Malfoy here had a rather heated argument with Sirius' dearly departed mother this morning. It seems, he has been promoted to the ranks of blood traitor." Harry couldn't help it, it was too funny not to laugh. "Poor Kreacher is ever so confused. Yesterday he was all but proclaiming his love, but now with Mrs Black reprimanding him for spending his time with the worst of sorts, he can barely stand to be in the same room. He was muttering before I left to get you about blood traitors, half breeds and mudbloods corrupting the minds of young noble wizards."

Remus and Harry both laughed to the point of tears. "This place is barmy." Malfoy muttered under his breath.

"You really must feel sorry for Draco though Harry, he must be ever so disappointed. I was expecting Kreacher to propose any day now." Remus smirked. "You mustn't be too heartbroken though, it never would have worked."

"You're evil." Draco said throwing a biscuit at Remus.

Harry laughed some more and walked to inspect the kitchen cupboards. "Dumbledore's still sending food then?" Harry started taking out pans and ingredients. "Who's hungry?"

"You cook?" Malfoy said in genuine shock.

"I'll have you know that I am a wonderful cook." Harry said, chopping onions. "I've had a lot of practice.

Harry continued with dinner and let Remus and Draco discuss their lessons. Due to the reasonable restrictions of underaged magic Malfoy's learning had to be purely theoretical, a cause of apparent contention.

"It's almost as bad as having Umbridge all over again." Draco complained. "Understanding the theory can only get you so far."

Remus nodded in understanding. "I agree with you Draco. We are trying to work out a schedule for you to Floo to Hogwarts to put your learning to practice but it is very difficult. We cannot risk anyone discovering you."

"What about the Room of Requirement?" Harry asked. "You should be able to ask it to make sure no one can find you there."

"I'll run it by Albus." Remus said after considering the idea. "We still need a way to get you through the castle from his office though."

"He's got dads cloak." Harry said turning to the pot on the stove. "He can go directly into Dumbledore's office and as long as he isn't stupid enough to walk into anyone while he's invisible it should be fine."

Remus gave him a curious look. "That could work."

"Excellent, well I'm going to shower before we eat." Draco said leaving the kitchen.

Remus watched him go and when they heard Draco on the stairs, he said to Harry. "He's got your cloak?"

"I leant it to him before he came here." Harry said simply. "We've been stung by a traitor before, I won't let it happen again."

"Don't hit me Harry," Remus said walking away. "But you're starting to sound like Severus." Harry threw a tomato at him.

After dinner the three sat around chatting and drinking butterbeer, Harry was surprised at just how good of a time he was having. All in all it was a rather pleasant evening. Later that night when he was settled in Sirius' bed he hoped that he was exhausted enough to avoid the more painful nightmares. He wasn't.

Hours later he opened his eyes with a groan. He forced himself out of bed, the sun wasn't up yet and looking at the clock he saw that it wasn't even four thirty yet. He sighed, pulled on his socks, grabbed a book and went downstairs. If he wasn't going to sleep he was at least going to be productive. After making a pot of coffee, he began to read.

"Oh, I didn't expect anyone else to be up." Draco's voice sounded from the door. "Usually it's just me. I'll just leave you to it."

"No don't worry, there's coffee." Harry said looking up from his page. "Couldn't sleep?"

"No I slept." Malfoy said grabbing a mug. "It's staying that way that's the problem."

Harry snorted. "Welcome to the club."

"Dreams?" Draco asked when he sat down.

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah."

The two continued to read in silence, they finished the pot of coffee and then another. Eventually after the sun was up, Lupin made his entrance.

"Well look at my little bookworms." He said with a smile. "Harry your father would be ashamed. Your mother however would be ever so proud."

Harry smiled at him. "Remus can you explain this to me? I don't really get it." Harry slid his book over the table to Lupin. It was open to a page full of diagrams on how to perform a rather complex shield charm. "I haven't been able to get it to work at school. I know I have the movements right. In theory I should be able to cast a near perfect shield but still allow friendly spells and people through."

Remus sat down and studied the pages. "This is very complex magic Harry. Even seventh years don't even attempt this."

"I gathered that much for myself." Harry said pulling the book back. "But if I am going to try and defeat Voldemort." Harry noticed that Malfoy didn't flinch at the name. "I'm going to need to go beyond NEWT level."

"You realise that you should also be studying advanced charms and transfiguration as well." Remus chided him slightly. "Defending yourself won't be enough."

"I know, I'll need to attack as well." Harry didn't exactly love the idea.

Remus touched his shoulder, just briefly before letting go. "Well," Stepping into teacher mode. "As you know spells and incantations are not just simply waving a wand and speaking Latin. You need to be able to feel the magic that you're using, you and your magic need to be connected. This spell is relatively simple to cast once you have the intent behind it mastered. Think of your Patronus, you cannot let a shadow of sadness enter your mind when you cast. If you do, the spell is essentially useless. It's a similar principle here. When you cast this spell you need to think of only what you want to let in. If you start thinking of what's attacking you it won't work properly. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah I think so," Harry said with his brows crossed. "I'm going to need Ron and Hermione to throw hexes at me to practice this one."

"I'll happily throw a hex or two." Draco didn't look up from his book. "Not to help with the charm just, you know, because I can."

"Dick." Harry went back to reading.

"Golden Boy." Malfoy said turning a page.

Remus chuckled. "So how about after breakfast we put up the tree?" Both boys gave him exasperated looks. "Grinches."

The days rolled on in a similar fashion in the lead up to Christmas Day. Harry would wake early, and Malfoy would either already be at the dining room table or following not far behind. They would read until Remus got up and spend the rest of the day discussing different magical principles or discussing the whatever was in the Prophet that day. When Remus decided that they had done enough 'adulting' for the day, they would pull out the Gobstones, Exploding Snap or Wizard Chess.

On Christmas Eve night Harry found Malfoy in the drawing room, curled up in his usual chair, staring into the fire. "Do you have a minute?" Harry said as he walked in.

Malfoy nodded and waved at the empty chair beside him.

Harry sat down grasping the small wooden box he pulled out of the attack earlier that day. "When we first took this place over as headquarters, it was not fit for human habitation. If you'll believe it, it was even worse than it is now. I spent the summer before fifth year cleaning out cobwebs and doxy eggs. Sirius pretty much threw out anything that had the Black family crest on it. There were some things though that we couldn't bring ourselves to get rid of. Anyway when we were cleaning out the study, I found this box and it's been stashed in the attic ever since. I figured you might want it." Harry handed the small chest to Draco. "Merry Christmas."

Malfoy took it and opened it slowly, curiosity plain on his face. It was full of photos of a young Narcissa Malfoy. There were photos of her playing as a girl and of her smiling as a young woman. They were all of her happy and most from before she married Lucius. Harry knew there was one at the very bottom that was of her smiling down at a very tiny baby Draco.

"Thank you." Malfoy whispered, trailing a finger across the edge of the box, eyes wide. Just as Harry was about to walk out of the door he heard, "Merry Christmas Harry."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Christmas day dawned and rather than sitting at the kitchen table reading, Harry perched himself on a bench and watched the snow fall through the window. A white Christmas, how very Charles Dickens. Draco came up and stood beside Harry's knee. Both boys were sombre. Harry was thinking about Sirius and Draco was dreading the day without his mother. No words were needed, both content to just exist.

When Remus eventually made his way down, they had a very simple breakfast, very aware of the extravagant meal Molly was preparing. Harry and Draco were playing chess and reading, whittling away the time. Draco was curled into his favourite armchair and Harry was lying on the floor, legs on the lounge and a book propped up on his knees. He was so engrossed in his book that he didn't notice when Hermione and the Weasleys walked in, not until a very heavy weight was dropped unceremoniously onto his stomach.

"Ah fuck!" Harry yelled rolling over. He shot a glare up at the twins who were grinning down at him. "I hate you both."

"Merry Christmas to you too Harry." George said

"That wasn't very nice." Fred said

"After all of the effort we went into finding the perfect gift." George moaned in mock disdain.

"You'll want to open it here though," Fred said conspiratorially. "Mummy might die, she'd be ever so mortified."

Harry eyed the package that had fallen next to him with apprehension. He liked the twins quite a lot, but you'd have to be an idiot to trust them. "What is it?"

"It's just a book, nothing overly scary." Said George

"You're not Ron." Fred shrugged.

Harry glanced around the room. Hermione and Ginny were playing with Crookshanks by the fire and Ron was sitting on the lounge where his feet were moments earlier. The twins were still grinning down at him, standing next to his head. Tentatively Harry tore open the paper and when he saw the title he burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"What is it?" Hermione asked. "They wouldn't say."

"Charming Young Wizards." Fred looked like the cat who caught the mouse.

"A Young Man's Complete Guide to Homosexual Relationships and Sex." George explained.

Hermione and Ginny both giggled and Ron looked horrified. Draco sat up dead straight. "Potter! You're gay?"

"Oh Malfoy." George said with a sweet smile walking over to sit on one arm of Draco's chair.

"Our little blonde nemesis." Fred took the other arm.

"Our boy hero isn't gay."

"That's far too normal for the likes of him."

"Our dear Harry can't make up his mind." Fred explained

"Really I think he's just confused." George said seriously.

"Wankers." Harry muttered. "No Malfoy I'm not gay. I just don't see why everyone needs to label everything we do. Love's Love. Restricting yourself to one sex really limits your options."

"In other words." George said. "To Harry,"

"Any hole's a goal." Fred finished.

"Fred!" Hermione yelled, doing a rather good impersonation of Mrs Weasley.

"Very elegant Weasley." Draco rolled his eyes.

"Imagine the headlines though." George did not even try to hide his glee. "The Chosen One – Fence Sitting or Kidding Himself?"

"Harry Potter – Sexual Deviant." Fred added

"The Boy Who Lived to Ride Them All." Ron said.

"Oh Potter Witch Weekly would go mad!" Draco looked like it was his birthday as well as Christmas. "With the rumours already going around! They'll say Potter, Weasley and Granger – life long friends, love triangle or polygamy?"

"Fuck you all. Seriously." Harry said.

"Sorry Harry you have too much equipment for little old me to handle." Fred said with a grin. The boys laughed loudly.

Harry left the room mumbling about traitors. He made a point to stop by his room first before going downstairs.

Walking into the kitchen he found Mr and Mrs Weasley, Remus, Tonks, Bill and Fleur. They were all chatting around the table which looked like it would buckle under the sheer weight of presents.

"Harry dear." Mrs Weasley said with a warm smile, pulling him into a tight hug. "Merry Christmas. We held off on gifts until we got here, some things have to be done with family."

When everyone was together, the room became a multi coloured paper massacre. Harry got a box of Honeydukes Deluxe selection from Ron, a wand holster from Lupin, 2 books on defensive and offensive magic from Hermione, the hardest toffee Harry had ever touched from Hagrid, a pair of socks with Dobby's face on them from the elf and a brand new Weasley jumper hand made by Molly.

The best moment of the day was watching Malfoy, who wasn't expecting anything at all receive his very own sweater from Mrs Weasley. Green with a silver 'M' emblazoned. The twins promptly forced Draco into it and demanded he wear it all day, after all, he wanted to fit in. Draco shot Harry a look that plainly said, 'say anything and die'.

All in all it was a rather splendid day. Harry spent most of his time getting throttled by Ron at chess and talking to Tonks about the state the ministry was in. Even Malfoy had enjoyed himself, Bill had a made a point to try and make him feel included. The two ended up in a lively debate about the Goblin rebellion. Towards the afternoon Fleur had discovered Draco's ability to speak broken French and they had been chatting ever since.

By the time Mrs Weasley had finished with dinner, everyone was getting along surprisingly well. Even Ron had managed to keep his remarks to himself. Conversation was sporadic at best while everyone ate, all too focussed on roast beef and vegetables to bring themselves to say too much. When they were all full to bursting, the table cleared, and small conversations had begun to crop up Mr Weasley suggested the pudding. As Harry was grabbing bowls, they heard the front door open and slam close again, hurried footsteps made their way towards them.

Snape and Dumbledore both walked into the kitchen looking dishevelled and devastated. Harry's heart dropped to his foot. "Draco." Snape said, eyes wide.

Malfoy's face fell, and he stood up. "What's happened?" The room was deadly silent as Draco walked towards their professor.

Snape did something then that Harry never thought he'd be capable of doing, he hugged Draco and just kept saying 'I'm sorry' over and over.

Draco pulled himself free. "What's happened?" His voice was urgent looking between Snape and Dumbledore.

"Draco, I'm sorry." Dumbledore said with heartache. "But your mother, I'm sorry, she's,"

"No!" Draco shouted. "Don't say it! Don't you fucking dare say it!" Draco faced Snape. "Tell me it's not true."

"I can't." Snape stood tall staring Draco head on.

"She's not dead!" Draco screamed, not caring who was in the room. "She can't be!" When he started to shake, Harry put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't fucking touch me Potter!" With that he ran out of the room and up the stairs.

"I'll go." Snape said, following Draco out.

Dumbledore collapsed into the closest free chair. Everyone else watched on in silence, too stunned to make a sound.

Eventually it was Arthur who spoke first. "Molly you need to take everyone home. Bill and I will stay. Harry will as well." He added giving his wife a stern look. "You know you can't fight this."

Molly gave an indignant huff but reluctantly accepted. She ushered Hermione, Fleur and the rest of her children through the fire place home. Christmas pudding and presents lay forgotten.

"He won't let me in." Snape said from the doorway.

"No, I imagine he would rather be alone right now." Dumbledore sighed.

"What happened Albus?" Bill urged.

"Lucius." Snape spat. "The spineless scum of the earth, he killed her. Didn't even use his wand. He beat his wife, she was too weak to even try and defend herself."

"Fuck." Harry wanted to be sick.

"It appears that Lucius discovered Narcissa's role in Draco's escape earlier this morning." Dumbledore sighed. "In his fury he tortured her for information, it seems he had her for hours. But she refused to betray her son, so he murdered her. Severus arrived at the scene too late to help."

"He was laughing," Snape said with disgust. "Him and Bellatrix were laughing at her. She was dead, and they were laughing. By that point they saw her nothing more than a traitor, therefore she was less than human."

Harry stood and walked to the window, the same one he was at earlier in the morning. It all came back to Voldemort, another life was lost because Harry wasn't ready to take him down. Every drop of blood was on his hands until he could work out how he could do it.

The last week of break was very different to the first. There was no early morning reading sessions, no debates on spell casting and no lazy afternoons playing chess. Snape was turning up daily to try and get Draco to open his door. Finally Harry had to order Kreacher to take him food and ensure he was still alive in there. When He returned to school he still hadn't seen Draco since Christmas day.

They were back at school for two weeks and from what he could gather from Remus' letters and the worry etched into Dumbledore's face Malfoy was still locking himself away. This is something that Harry of all people could understand. When you lose someone so close to you, what is normally second nature in life, becomes impossibly difficult. You lose the will to sleep, to eat, to laugh.

The Prophet had announced Narcissa Malfoy's death in a morning edition. It had been reported that her body was found mangled and bloody in an empty field, Dark Mark floating overhead. He had overheard a Ravenclaw fifth year saying that she probably deserved it, many people agreed with him.

That was the last straw for Harry. He pushed himself away, breakfast forgotten, and marched out of the hall. Ignoring Hermione's calls of 'we have potions in 10 minutes!' and made his way through the castle. He didn't stop to talk to anyone or slow down at any point. When he got to the stone Gargoyle he said, 'Chocolate Frog' and marched up the stairs. Dumbledore was sitting at his desk going through his morning mail.

"Good morning Professor." Harry said with a nod. "May I use your Floo?"

There must have been a look in Harry's eyes that told the Headmaster that he really didn't have a choice. He simply smiled and said, "Of course."

He stepped through and called out 'Grimmauld Place'. Stepping out of the fire, he saw Tonks sitting with a rather forlorn Remus, the full moon was approaching.

"Wotcher Harry." Tonks said with a grin. "What brings you by?"

"Where is he?" Harry asked, in no mood to chat.

"In his room." Remus replied giving Tonks a confused look.

Harry nodded once and left the kitchen. He went up to the second floor and kicked open the third door to the left. Malfoy was sitting at the top of his bed, knees to his chest looking stunned. Harry had never seen a more broken shell of a man. Malfoy's eyes were red and had to look of someone who needed to sleep for days.

"Potter! What the hell? You almost broke me door! Get out!"

"No." Harry said calmly. He went over to Draco's dresser and picked up the wand and cloak which were sitting on top. "Get up."

"No."

"Malfoy, here's your options." Harry said putting the wand and cloak inside his pocket. "You either get up and come with me or I drag you away kicking and screaming."

"No."

"Fine." Harry grabbed Draco's arm and pulled him hard, knowing that there would be bruises there.

"Potter you brute!" Draco stumbled out of the door with Harry. "I can walk you know!"

"I gave you a choice." Harry said continuing to pull Draco down the stairs. "You chose the hard way." They made their way through the kitchen, past Tonks and Lupin who were looking rather amused and walked to the Floo. Harry shouted, 'Dumbledore's office' and they were off.

"Draco, how wonderful to see you." Dumbledore said with a smile. "It appears that Mr Potter was rather keen to see you."

"This is kidnapping." Draco spat.

"Put it on." Harry handed over his dad's cloak.

"Why?" Malfoy demanded with as much venom as he could muster.

"Because you can't exactly go walking around the castle without it can you?" Harry said still holding the cloak.

Malfoy scowled at him but put it on. "What's to stop me walking right back out now that you can't see me?"

Harry shrugged. "I have your wand. Professor, I think I'm feeling a touch under the weather today."

Dumbledore chuckled slightly. "I will let your teachers know."

Harry smiled and made his way out, he made sure he could still hear Draco's footsteps as they made their way to the seventh-floor corridor. Pacing back and forward three times, he opened the door that appeared. Inside was a couple of couches, book shelves lined with books and vases and a few of the mannequins that he had used as practice dummy's the year before.

"Where are we?" Malfoy asked, taking off the cloak.

"It doesn't matter." Harry pointed at one of the couches and sat on the other. "Sit."

Malfoy glowered at him but begrudgingly sat down. "Are you going to explain your rather unpleasant removal of me? Or were you just desperate for my company?"

Harry leaned forwards, putting his elbow on his knees. "I get that you're upset about your mum." Malfoy looked away and crossed his arms. "You're allowed to be upset, no one is judging you or blaming you for that."

"Then let me be upset." Malfoy still wasn't looking at Harry. "I just want to be alone."

"Not until we're done." Harry inched forward in his seat. "Tell me something, whose fault is it?"

"Excuse me?" That brought Draco's attention back to Harry.

"Whose fault is it that your mother was murdered and left forgotten in a field?" Harry was very calm.

Malfoy stood angrily. "How dare you?"

Harry did not move. "Whose?"

Draco turned away, he was shaking visibly. Eventually he hung his head and whispered, "It was mine. If I had just stayed and took the mark she would still be alive."

"No." Harry said firmly. "Whose fault is it really? Focus Malfoy, whose fault was it?"

"I told you it was mine!" Draco yelled.

"Draco." Harry was still calm, his voice even. "Were you the one who beat her? Who was she trying to save you from? Who killed her?"

Draco's eyes were wide and brimming with unshed tears. "Lucius?"

"Yes." Harry stood and walked towards him. "She had to get you away before he could do the same to you." Harry held out Draco's wand. "How does that make you feel?"

Draco slowly took his wand and stared at it, he turned away from Harry tense. Just when Harry started to think that his plan wasn't going to work, Draco let out a violent scream and sent a hex at one of the bookshelves. Paper exploded around the room, Malfoy was manic now, he sent curse after curse, forcing Harry to cast a shield around them. Eventually not a single item was left whole. Growling, he grabbed Harry's throat and rammed him into a wall. Staring at Harry with nothing but hate, he squeezed.

Harry tried not to move, tried to remain calm. Draco released the pressure but still held firm. Harry could understand this too, the need to release the rage was overpowering, all consuming. Eventually just when Harry thought they may die there, Draco let go and collapsed to the floor. Grabbing his hair, he started to cry. Harry dropped down behind him and pulled him close.

"He killed her." Draco said between sobs. "He killed her and left her like she was nothing."

"I know." Harry had no idea how long they sat there but eventually Draco pulled away and sat on one of the now repaired sofas.

"What do I do now?" Draco's voice was barely audible, and his eyes were pleading for answers.

"That's for you to figure out." Harry said, standing up. "You can either keep going the way you were, continue wallowing and do nothing. Or, you can learn how to fight. Here's your choice, you cower like the coward I thought I knew or you pick a side and you fight for what's right like the brave person I know you can be."

When Draco looked up, his jaw was set, and the tears were gone. He saw Harry standing in front of him hand outstretched. They had come full circle. Draco sat staring at the hand for a long time, something inside Harry told him not to lower it no matter how much his shoulder protested. Draco took a deep breath and shook Harry's hand. Speaking as clearly as possible he said, "You have my wand on the condition I'm the one that takes down Lucius."

Harry gave him a half smile. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Draco held on tighter when Harry went to pull away. "Harry. You have my wand. Not the Order."

Harry was confused. "What's the difference?"

"If I join the Order I have to make promises I know I can't keep." Draco said with a fire in his eyes. "They don't kill unless it is absolutely necessary. I know you won't make me do the same. When the time comes, you won't stand in my way."

"You realise," Harry said carefully. "That if you mean what you say, when push comes to shove you'll have to come with me don't you? By not joining the Order, by refusing their protection once you've finished school, there won't be anywhere else for you."

"I understand." Draco said.

"Think about it." Harry finally dropped his hand. "We still have this year and next to get through, you have time. When I do go after him, it won't be pleasant. When and if you agree to fight beside me you need to be without a shadow of doubt about where you stand. I can't have you hesitating. Please just think about it."

Draco looked like he would argue, instead he gave a brief, stiff nod. Harry knew to never believe what someone in grief said, they didn't think properly.

"Stay here." Harry said moving to the door. "I'm going to go get Remus. You may as well start on that practical work."

"Thank you." Harry heard Draco say just before he closed the door. Despite what he said, Harry did hope that he had found a new ally.

Three weeks later, Hedwig flew down as he was eating breakfast. The note was short, but it brought him a genuine smile.

 _I'm in._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 _Potter  
Your complete inability to grasp even the simplest of potion theories is utterly astounding! I have come to conclude that you are either a complete dunce, at which point I have no desire to keep up correspondence. Or you are actively trying to piss me off. Whichever it is cut it out and ask Granger! I refuse to try and help you.  
Remus is off howling at the moon and eating poor defenceless bunnies so I'm all alone tonight. Actually what I should say is, I wish to be all alone tonight. Your damned elf seems to have moved beyond his contempt for me 'consorting with the enemy' and is convinced that you have me brainwashed. I'd gloat about your elf liking me more than you, but the thing is deranged. I caught him snogging my shoes this morning! Order it to leave me alone!  
I hear the Weasley girl broke it off with Thomas, when are you making your move?  
I'm going to bed and locking the door.  
DM_

 _Malfoy  
Has anyone ever told you that you sound exactly like Snape? Seriously add a greasy black wig, maybe break your nose and the resemblance would be uncanny!  
Kreacher is an evil cretin. I'd happily set him free today if he didn't know so much about what happens there. Plus if I did you'd have how to cook for yourself and I don't fancy having to clean up after you burn down my kitchen.  
I have absolutely ZERO interest in asking out Ginny. She's essentially my little sister and looks far too much like Ron. I might be pretty flexible with my sexuality, but I draw the line at incest.  
Speaking of Ron, he finally broke it off with Lavender. That was a month I'd be happy to Obliviate. Maybe him and Hermione will finally get together, it is painfully obvious to everybody but themselves. For a smart witch she's awfully dense.  
I'm sending you my copy of Advanced Offensive Charms, see if you can master some of them when you're here next.  
HP_

 _Potter  
Do you seriously have nothing better to do with your time than write to me twice a week? Weasley's mother caught wind of your letter writing capability and has demanded that you start writing to her as well. Normally I'd say no to being a messenger boy but the woman terrifies me! And I'm the nephew of Bellatrix Lestrange!  
I think I've got a handle on that protective charm you were talking about over Christmas break. I can't help but wonder though, how far can we push it? Obviously it is only designed for one caster and a very small protective area but if we were to combine our efforts could we protect a large surface area? Or, would it not work because the casters would have to be completely undistracted? Maybe I should just ask Lupin, he's actually a brilliant teacher.  
A little birdy told me that you have quite the little stalker in Romilda Vane. Did you enjoy her Valentine's gift? Maybe you're in more danger than me right now!  
DM_

 _Draco  
Molly is as lovely as she is frightening! If she asks you to do something you just suck it up and do it, this is the woman who raised the twins!  
If you really want me to stop writing, stop replying, simple really.  
Your thoughts are interesting, and they could possibly work but it would be incredibly difficult. It would need to be completely planned out from the get go. Whoever was casting would need to be thinking about the exact same thing. Because of that I don't think it would work if you were under attack. In a duel you don't have time to think or plan, you need to act on instinct. If there was a way to completely protect a large group of people we wouldn't be so worried about Voldemort.  
Do not ever mention Romilda ever again. I can't even walk down the hall without her offering me a pumpkin juice or a cauldron cake! I have to invest in a flask like Moody's.  
Hermione overheard Parkinson asking about you today, she seemed worried. Weren't you two dating?  
Harry_

 _Harry!  
No! Merlin No! Why does everyone think that Pansy and I were together? The girl is vile! I have never met someone so completely up themselves, well except maybe you.  
Draco_

 _Draco  
Happy Easter!  
I heard that your defence scores are improving, well done! I wish I could say the same about my potions marks. I'm nowhere near as bad as I was under Snape but I'm still not fantastic at it, the whole subject just annoys me.  
Dumbledore is planning something, but he won't tell me what. I'm trying not to let it bug me, but he's told me everything this year and suddenly he's all secretive. He says it has nothing to do with not trusting me but if that really is the case why not just tell me?  
Ron and Hermione seem to be in blissful ignorance still. If this goes on much longer I might have to just lock them in a cupboard and see what happens.  
Harry_

 _Harry  
You have no patience, that's why you are absolutely abysmal at potions. You need to be careful, precise. I don't understand it, you're an amazing cook and at least practically they are essentially the same. Just you know less garlic, more pig spleen.  
Maybe what he's doing is highly dangerous? You're a bit of a hot head and he knows it. If he tells you what he's doing, and it could put him in danger you'll end up either trying to stop it or insisting that you help which will just get you hurt.  
That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard, and I spent years in the company of Crabbe and Goyle. Locking Granger in a cupboard? Do you have a death wish? Just leave them to it they'll figure themselves out eventually.  
Draco_

 _Draco  
So why are you such a shocking cook? Seriously you set a fire last time! And you were cooking toast! How did you even manage that?  
Harry_

 _Harry  
There's only three weeks left of term. Excited?  
What are your plans for the summer? Going back to your relatives or will you be coming back here?  
Draco_

"Draco!" Harry called frantically when they finally reached Grimmauld Place, not caring in the slightest about the portrait on the wall. "Draco!"

"Potter, calm yourself." Snape hissed.

"Fuck off Snape." Harry had wanted to say those words for years, but they didn't sound nearly as good as he had hoped. "Remus find Kreacher for me will you?" Harry bounded up the stairs two at a time and slammed Draco's door open. "Draco! You need to pack! And do it fast!"

"Harry?" Draco jumped off the bed. "What's wrong? Where am I going."

"I'll explain after we leave, just trust me, please. Pack absolutely everything that can be identified as yours." Harry ran into Sirius' room and grabbed anything that had any emotional value. He also took some of Sirius' clothes, he had no idea how long it would take for McGonagall to send his things to him.

Bounding back down the stairs, Snape and Lupin were gathering piles of parchment and casting incendio on them. Kreacher was standing in the corner muttering to himself, Harry crouched down to his eye level. "Kreacher I know you don't like me and that is perfectly fine but what I am doing is for your own protection. This is an order, you will go to Hogwarts now and speak to Minerva McGonagall, you will then go down to the kitchens and work with the other elves. Find another elf called Dobby, tell him who your master is, and he will look out for you. You are hereby forbidden from communicating with any witch or wizard who is not myself or McGonagall. Do you understand?"

Kreacher stared daggers at him but said, "Yes master."

"Good. Go." Once Kreacher had disappeared with a crack Harry turned to face the rest of the room. Remus and Snape both looked lost and disheartened and Draco, well Draco looked pissed.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Draco said through gritted teeth.

"Not here, we don't know whether it's safe." Harry explained. "Like I said, I will tell you after we leave. Remus, you'll apparate us there yes?" Remus nodded. "Snape, can you go and check that everyone in the Order is safe? Send a Patronus once everyone is accounted for. Tell Ron and Hermione where I am, they'll be worried that I've just disappeared." Snape just glared at him in response.

Remus waved his wand and the pile of Draco and Harry's belongings disappeared. He ushered them outside and when they were just beyond the wards, disapparated landing in the Dursleys living room. Harry hugged Lupin tight and said, "Let me know what's happening?"

"You'll get sick of me." Remus promised. A single tear ran down Lupins cheek. "You're not being abandoned." With that, Remus disapparated.

Pain like Harry had never experience gripped him. He didn't even feel this way after Sirius, maybe because there wasn't a body or maybe because the world wasn't relying on Sirius to survive this. The lights started to flicker, and he had to grab the bannister to keep from falling. Draco was next to him immediately asking, "Harry, what's wrong?"

Harry blinked away the tears and breathed deeply. "Not here, they'll be home soon." He lead them both up stairs and into the smallest bedroom. Harry collapsed on the bed and thought about the last time we was looking at the cracked paint on the ceiling.

Draco sat down on the bed beside him. "Harry you have got to talk to me."

Harry sat up and stared at the blonde. "I'm sorry it's been a really long morning." He took another deep breath. "Dumbledore's dead."

"No." Draco said in disbelief. "He can't be."

"I saw it happen, so did a lot of people." Harry sat up, wondering how many more people he would have to watch die before this was all over. "Remember when I wrote you and said that Dumbledore was planning something?" Draco nodded. "Well turns out it was a raid on a Death Eater compound, it happened last night. The Death Eaters weren't happy, they managed to break into Hogwarts this morning, I still have no idea how they managed it. It was still early there were only a few students and teachers in the hall when they came in. Lupin had spent the night with Tonks in Hogsmeade so when Dumbledore sounded the alarm they didn't take too long.

"It was almost over, Dumbledore managed to conjure this massive rope and had trapped the five Death Eaters. But," Harry stared at Draco to let him stop, to not make him finish, but Draco just stared back. "But Bellatrix, her husband and Lucius showed up. He's still legally your dad, it's no surprise he could get in. That's when it became hell, two Ravenclaws were killed in the crossfire. I was trying to duel the ones that Bellatrix had set free, but they wouldn't engage. I think they were under orders to leave me alive.

"Dumbledore was duelling Lucius and Merlin Draco, he's good." Harry had no choice but to admit it, know your enemy. "He didn't see her coming. Bellatrix had knocked out Tonks and Remus was still trying to fight Rodolphus, she killed him while he was distracted. Snape killed her, lashed out and killed her. Lucius started screaming about Snape being a traitor, Snape can't go back now. I'm not exactly sure what happened next. All I know is the Death Eaters all escaped, and Dumbledore is dead.

"Remus and Snape had to get me out of the school, with Dumbledore gone I was a sitting target. We were going to come straight here but then we realised that Dumbledore was secret keeper and none of us really know what that means to the Fidelius Charm, it might have dissolved." Harry looked at Draco and something he saw in him made the tears finally come. The closest thing he ever had to a grandfather was gone, just like his parents and Sirius.

Draco wrapped him up the same way Harry had in the Room of Requirement all those months ago. Harry tried to fight the pain, but it didn't work, he was a broken mess of heaving sobs. Harry cursed himself for always being so emotional, Dumbledore had told him that his greatest gift was his ability to love. Right now it seemed that love always just ended up turning to ash.

Once Harry had eventually calmed down, he wiped his eyes and said, "Thanks."

Draco just shrugged. "You would, and have, done the same for me." Draco started to look around the room they were in. "Where are we?"

"Oh, this is my room." He had forgotten that they had pulled Draco out of bed with no explanation. "My actual room at my Aunt and Uncle's."

As if waiting for his introduction, Vernon burst through the door. "What the ruddy hell are you doing back? And who the hell are you?"

"Uncle Vernon please," Harry closed his eyes, today would not cease to be painful. "if you give me five minutes I will come downstairs and explain."

"You'll bloody well explain now or there will be hell to pay boy. We come home from a weekend away and find a god-awful mess downstairs and turns out you're home early!" Vernon was starting to turn red, never a good sign. "Your aunt's going spare. Get your good for nothing ass down there now."

Harry needed a nap. Reluctantly he climbed off of the bed and followed his uncle down the stairs, Draco following behind. When he walked into the kitchen his aunt looked at him with something almost like relief. "Harry." She breathed quietly.

Harry looked at his uncle, Vernon looked like he was using every ounce of restraint not to explode. Harry said, "You should sit."

"You will not stand there and tell me what to do in my own house!" Vernon yelled. "You come back here, leave a bloody mess inside the doors, I almost broke my neck getting through it! Bring some boy I've never seen here and then you tell me to sit! Where the hell do you get off?"

"Where do I get off?" Harry yelled back. "Are you kidding me? I have had the worst fucking morning of my life and considering where I live, that's fucking saying something. I just watched my friend, one of the first adults I ever knew who treated me like a human and was forced to come back here afterwards! You think I want to be back here? You think I dream of coming home and getting a hug from my uncle? Most families would be thrilled to see the person they raised after almost a year! But you're too worried about what the neighbours would say if they found out what I truly am to care!"

"You ungrateful little," Vernon moved towards him, fist in the air, ready to beat Harry within an inch of his life.

"Do not even think about it." Draco moved in front of Harry, wand pushed into Vernon's cheek.

Vernon stared down at the wand, frozen. "You can't do magic, not allowed."

"He's not," Draco pointed at Harry. "But I am. I'm seventeen. It is well within my right to use my magic. In fact until recently I would have relished the idea of tormenting a muggle. You call Harry ungrateful? You are the most ignorant man I have ever had the misfortune to meet."

"Draco don't." Harry pulled the wand away from Vernon. He turned to his aunt, "I had wanted to have a reasoned discussion with you about this, but I really can't be bothered. You need to go upstairs and pack, only the essentials we don't have time for anything else. Kingsley will be taking you to a safe house in the morning. You can pick up Dudley on the way."

Harry had hoped that the conversation would be swift, it wasn't. He had hoped it would be calm, it wasn't. He had hoped that Vernon would keep his temper, he didn't. He had hoped that Draco wouldn't retaliate, he did. He hoped that at least Petunia would understand, she did.

In the end it was Petunia's resolve that forced Vernon to agree to leave. For the first time in almost sixteen years Harry saw a fire in her eyes. A fire that made her look exactly like the mother he had seen in Snape's Pensieve. At that point she wasn't the aunt that locked him away and served him cold soup, she was his mother's sister.

Once they were all calm, no one looking at each other, Harry made dinner. He was starving, it had been 12 hours since the Death Eaters had stormed into the hall. Even then he only had time for one piece of toast before the battle began.

While his aunt and uncle began to pack, Vernon had called his work and taken an emergency leave of absence. Harry moved his and Draco's belongings into his room and set up the camping bed next to his.

"Tomorrow you can take Dudley's bed or the spare room." Harry said, sitting down on his own. "It'll be best to just stay in here tonight. You know, avoid another fight."

Draco nodded and sat down on the low mattress. Harry had noticed that Draco looked drawn and was obviously wanted to mention what happened downstairs.

"Not tonight," Harry said without needing the questions asked. He laid down on his bed suddenly exhausted. "I'll tell you about it after they leave tomorrow."

"Ok." Draco was silent for a while, laying down and staring around the small room. "Harry why is there a flap on your door?"

"Tomorrow Draco."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Three weeks after they got there Harry and Draco could be found standing at opposite sides of the Dursley's living room. The looks they were giving each other plainly said 'I hope you combust'. Harry was struggling to remember why he thought they could actually get along. A few months of letter writing could not whitewash five years of contempt and loathing.

They had been woken up the morning after their arrival by Snape's Patronus. Considering how early Harry and Draco normally woke up, Harry was fairly certain that it was an attempt to piss him off. The Patronus told him that everyone was in fact safe and accounted for and to not become accustomed to Snape being his errand boy. Kingsley had turned up just after nine, looking every bit the dignified muggle, to collect his aunt and uncle. Vernon had yelled some more and threatened not to come but Petunia had surprised them all by giving Harry a tight hug and urging him to be safe. Reluctantly Vernon followed his wife into the car and Drove away.

Remus came by the next day with word on Dumbledore's funeral arrangements. It was to happen in the following days, they all agreed that for the safety of Harry and the attendees that he should not attend. Harry and Draco were to just wait and lay low while the Order figured out what exactly to do next. They needed to regroup before they could even start coming up with a strategy.

This left Harry and Draco for the most part completely alone together for days at a time. It had started out relatively fine. They had picked up a sort of routine. Draco had moved into the spare bedroom, the computers in Dudley's room made him uncomfortable. They got up every morning before the sun and drank their coffee's in the back garden. Remus stopped by as often as possible but rarely being able to stay longer than an hour and Hermione's owls came almost daily. What the pair were missing was a buffer, they really needed a buffer.

It had started off as little irritations, the things that always get on your nerves when you are living in close proximity to someone. Dirty dishes left in the sink, shoes sitting on the stairs or snide unwarranted remarks. At first they would just wrinkle their noses, count back from ten and ignore it, they both were trying to not push the boundaries. That was until this morning.

All Harry had done was simply asked why it mattered that the potion Draco was brewing had to be stirred in a particular direction and all Draco did was call him a simpleton. Neither of these events were overly dramatic nor were they outside the norm but it resulted in a screaming match of epic proportions. Draco was called a 'pompous arrogant wanker' and Harry was dubbed an 'emotional idiot with a hero complex'. They yelled at each other for an hour, all of the bitten back words, all of the suppressed irritation exploding out. It culminated in Harry throwing a vase and Draco's head and Draco responding with a well-aimed stinging jinx.

Just as Harry was about to lunge at Draco, Remus' Patronus flew through the window and said, 'Be there in ten, bringing Ron and Hermione'.

The two didn't move an inch, they just continued to glower at each other, both shaking with fury. With a crack, Ron, Hermione and Remus appeared next to the stairs. The silence was deafening.

"What happened?" Remus demanded, looking between them.

"Nothing." They both spat at the same time, not breaking eye contact.

"Harry, are you, are you ok?" Hermione asked, put off by the tension in the room.

"I'm fine." Harry replied. "He's the world's biggest wanker, but I'm fine."

"Me!" Draco yelled. "You threw a vase at me you twat!"

"OK!" Remus stood between them, sensing that this was about to get violent. "How about we move this to the kitchen and take a breath."

"Fine." The two said in unison.

The five of them sat around the kitchen table, Harry and Draco were pointedly not looking at each other. Despite Ron and Remus' attempts to spark a conversation, the most they got out of Harry and Draco were grunts.

"Ok that's it." Hermione said frustrated. "Harry is there a reason you threw a vase at Draco?"

"Yes." Harry grumbled. "He's a ponce."

"Wanker." Draco grumbled.

"Ok, enough is enough." Hermione straightened herself up. "If we are all going to be living together for the foreseeable future you two have got to work out your issues."

"What do you mean living with us?" Harry asked, momentarily forgetting his anger.

"Ron and I are moving in," Hermione said with a sniff. "Today. But I will lock you both away if you do not figure out a way to get along."

Harry shot Draco a look of disgust, which was returned in earnest.

"You do realise," Remus said with caution. "That your issues have more to do with how similar you are than how different right?"

"We are nothing alike thank you very much!" Draco looked highly affronted. "I have taste. Class."

"You have a pole so far up your ass you can't walk straight." Harry shot at him.

Ron chuckled. "Remus could be onto something you know." Harry shot Ron a glare, but Ron continued all the same. "Think about it though. You're both incredibly stubborn, you're both a touch on the arrogant side and on the less cheery of notes you're both essentially orphans."

"We also both think that you're both talking out of your asses." Draco said dryly.

Everyone laughed at this, even Harry. With the mood significantly lighter and sensing a reprieve Hermione dove right in. She filled them in on what was happening and the plan for what happens next. It turned out to be a very good thing that Harry and Draco were not at Dumbledore's funeral, reporters were everywhere, and Tonks had to stun two of Voldemort's supporters. Everyone was still waiting to see what Voldemort's next move was going to be.

The plan now was for the four of them to go into hiding the day before Harry's seventeenth. From there they would launch into a training program designed by Remus and Snape. They were to have no contact from the outside world, their previous professors being the only exception. The thought was that it was better for the world and Voldemort to think that Harry had abandoned it rather than be hunted down.

That left them two weeks. Two weeks to pack and plan. Harry was to teach them what he had learnt during the year and Snape and Remus would be there every other day to train them further and harder. This was not going to be pleasant, it will be gruelling and messy, but it was the only option left to them. The hardest part to accept, at least for Harry, was knowing that at least for the moment, they needed to let Voldemort win. The Order needed to play a delicate game. They needed to play the defeated party and yet still try and protect as many innocent people as possible. Harry couldn't help but think of the old muggle saying, 'the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few'. Dumbledore had once said that war is never just about good and evil, it's about making the hard decisions and trusting that you are fighting for what's right.

The day before his birthday, Harry had woken from dreams of starvation, torture and murder. A world ruled by Voldemort. The guilt he felt was real and raw, he knew that he wasn't ready for the fight. Any unqualified wizard wouldn't stand a chance against Voldemort but the thought of leaving everyone behind, at his mercy, was making him physically ill.

"You can't save everyone you know." Draco's voice said from behind him. Harry wasn't surprised to see him standing at his bedroom door. Normally Harry would be downstairs with him by now, drinking coffee and watching the sun dawn.

"I know." Harry said weekly. "That doesn't make it taste better though."

"No." Draco agreed. "I suppose it doesn't. Take what you're feeling now and focus on it. People will die but you will be able to avenge them."

"You sound so sure." Harry looked into Draco's eyes.

"I don't have a choice." Draco shrugged. "The way I see it, every drop of blood is on the Malfoy name. I have to either wash it clean or die in the process. I'm prepared to do both."

The immature school boy inside of Harry was irked that Malfoy could be so calm and confident while Harry wasn't. The ever-present desire to not let Malfoy see him weak is what drove him to finally get up, shower and dress for the day. As he walked downstairs, he was drawn to the door of a cupboard, his cupboard. Opening it he had to crouch to get in. How long would the Dursleys have left him in here if his letter never came? Harry wouldn't have been able to lie down in here.

"Why is there a bed in here?" Draco asked peering in.

Harry had to smile. "You know there's this old saying that goes 'tomorrow never comes', I think that is rather fitting for right now." Draco cocked his head in confusion. "The first night here, you asked about it, and I said we would talk about it tomorrow. Tomorrow never came."

"Well it's here now." Draco held out a mug of coffee.

Harry exhaled taking the cup. "I'm going to need this."

Harry was silent, hugging his coffee, they were sitting in the back garden, the sun was just starting to show through the trees. Once he did start talking though, he found it difficult to stop. Ron and Hermione knew but they had found out in bits and bobs over years of friendship, he'd never actually talked about it all as a linear progression of events before. He talked about his cupboard, about being locked away when he had bursts of uncontrolled magic. About being called a freak and never having friends before Ron. About Aunt Marge and her bulldogs. About the elation of getting into Hogwarts. About getting cold soup pushed through a cat flap and Ron and the twins' daring rescue. About saving Dudley and the sense of relief he felt at the thought of finally leaving for good.

By the time he was finished Ron and Hermione were up and the sun was high. Not a word was spoken but Hermione's eyes were bright with unshed tears and both Ron and Draco had the same look of protective rage. Harry actually felt quite light as he cooked breakfast, he didn't realise how much he was holding onto by not talking about it for so long.

After they ate, the four of them shuffled around, trying to avoid the inevitable. They were going into the unknown and rather than feeling like heroes, they felt every bit the naive teen. With their tent packed inside of Hermione's impossible bag with the rest of their belongings, Harry took one last look at a house he was meant to call a home before Hermione disapparated them away.

They were standing in a clearing of a dense forest, Hermione and Draco immediately set about putting up defensive wards and Ron, with a flick of his wand, set up the tent. Harry felt utterly useless. They couldn't risk him doing even a simple Lumos, unsure how deeply Voldemort had penetrated the Ministry. Harry set about unpacking the kitchen while the others claimed beds. The tent had two bunks in the corner, a rather large kitchen, a bathroom, sitting area with a double sofa, two armchairs, a small bookshelf and a dining room table. Nothing grand, but better than a swag under the stars.

"So," Harry said when they were all standing around awkwardly. "What now?"

"Well I really do think we should get started." Hermione said as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. She had already started pulling out books from the small shelf in the corner.

"Hermione," Ron groaned. "We have an extremely painful few months ahead of us, let us have one night off? I have actually volunteered to spend time with Snape away from class, I need it!"

"As much as it pains me to admit it," Draco said. "The Weasel's right."

"Thanks ferret." Ron said with a grin. "Actually I have a brilliant idea! Harry I was going to wait until tomorrow. But," he reached into a rucksack and pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey. "Happy Birthday."

Harry smirked. "So you got yourself a present for my birthday?"

Ron conjured four glasses. "Well if you don't want any you can sit all alone and sober."

Harry dropped down next to Ron on the sofa and they all toasted to Harry's birthday. They toasted to Dumbledore, then Hogwarts, then Ogden, then Dobby. Three quarters of the bottle was gone, and they were more than a little happy.

"Granger!" Draco said sitting up suddenly. "I've been meaning to say something to you. I'm sorry for, well you know, being horrible."

Hermione's eyes grew wide. "Thank you Malfoy, that's um, sweet of you?"

"Oi!" Ron said indignantly. "What about me?"

"You Weasel can go fuck yourself." Draco said, nose in the air and taking another swallow. Ron glared at him but there was no malice behind it. Sometimes friendship is instantaneous, sometimes it takes a near death experience at the hands of a troll and sometimes it is found at the bottom of a bottle of Ogden's finest.

Hours later, the bottle empty and forgotten, Ron and Hermione were cleaning up after dinner and Harry was staring into the small fire he made outside of the tent. Draco dropped down next to him.

"You know," Draco said looking up at the stars. "I'm quite glad you didn't lock them in a cupboard. It would have made this whole experience quite awkward."

Harry laughed. "Don't get too comfortable. I'm still expecting to walk in on them."

"Harry?" Draco said quietly

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to say sorry to you as well." Draco said softly, Harry turned his head in surprise. "I was a right prat and all you ever did was be yourself."

"You don't need to apologise to me." Harry said honestly. "Hermione, yes. But not me. I've seen the real you and everything that happened before that doesn't matter."

Harry was looking into Draco's eyes, in that moment he couldn't think of a single other person with grey iris. He only tore away when he felt his hand move to Draco's, their fingers automatically entwining. Harry's mouth was dry, and Draco was moving closer.

"Harry?" Hermione yelled.

Both boys flew apart, blushing profusely.

Hermione poked her head out of the tent. "Remus said he'd be here early tomorrow, we should all try and get some sleep."

"Right!" Draco quickly got to his feet and refused to look at Harry. "I'm going to go shower, sober up a little."

Harry was very glad that it was so dark outside, he'd never felt more mortified and he knew his face would be bright red. Hermione raised an eyebrow at him but didn't question it. Harry rushed inside quickly, got changed and climbed into one of the two top bunks. He feigned sleep when Hermione, Ron and eventually Draco found their own beds. When he heard Ron's snores he looked down through the space of the beds and saw that Ron and Hermione had fallen asleep holding hands. He glanced a look at the other top bunk and saw that he wasn't the only one awake.

Draco was looking at him, almost searching, for what, Harry didn't know, but he couldn't look away. They lay there on their sides just staring, eventually Draco fell into a peaceful slumber. There were no dreams that night.

The next morning when Harry woke, he felt rested but confused. What was that last night? By the sounds of it he was the last one up, he gathered up some clean clothes and had a shower. He wished he could go for a run to clear his thoughts, but he didn't know when Remus would turn up, so he couldn't risk it. By the time he was done he was convinced that it was the all just he had spent so much time with Draco mixed with far too much alcohol. By the swift nod Draco gave him when he walked out of the bathroom, they were on the same page at least.

Remus turned up an hour later looking like a birthday elf. He had presents for him from everyone. Molly and Arthur had sent him a giant bag of sweets and a care package of food to stock the kitchen (with promises of more to come). Fred and George gave him a selection of their Defence Against the Dark Arts products. Ginny, Tonks and Hagrid had each given him a bottle of Firewhiskey, Harry was pretty sure that after the night before they wouldn't be touched for a while. Bill and Fleur sent him a book called Magical Survival – Camping for Wizards and Remus gave him a solid gold watch.

Lupin offered to let them have the day off to celebrate, but the four teens all agreed that they had wasted enough time. So together they worked out a military style training regime. Their mornings were to be spent working on agility, if a duel were to last more than five minutes at their current fitness levels, they would have no chance at survival. After lunch they were to work on practical magic, using each other as sparring partners. After dinner they would study new charms and ancient magic, anything that might prove useful. Snape or Remus would join them every few days to monitor their progress and give them updates of the outside world. They were to communicate only via Patronus' and were to change camp location every 7 days.

The first day was hell, the second day was torture, the third days was murder and on the fourth day Ron had refused to get out of bed until Snape grabbed his ear and dragged him outside. They were doing push ups in the mud, running upwards of ten kilometres daily and they all wore bruises from their sparring matches. All four of them were miserable and all of them had the guilty thought of giving up. It was on day sixteen that the guilty thought was driven away, never to return.

Remus turned up a lot later than usual. The four had already done the majority of their agility work out when he walked through the wards and straight into the tent. They exchanged concerned looks and followed him in, training forgotten.

Lupin was sitting in an armchair, head in his hands. They all sat cautiously around him, waiting for him to talk. After a deep breath he said, "He's taken the ministry, Scrimgeour was killed last night and the interim minister is without a doubt under the Imperius curse. The Aurors tried to fight it, but they lost. Moody and Tonks," Remus took in a shuddering breath. "They're dead."

Harry was at Remus' side immediately pulling him in for a tight hug. Lupin was crying, and Harry only just heard him say 'She was pregnant'. That's when he started to cry as well and by the sound of the room, the others weren't faring much better. Unable to sit still, Remus left without word shortly after.

They all sat there dumbfounded after Remus' departure. Harry knew how hard Remus fought his feelings for Tonks. Scared about the age difference, what people would say and the danger he would put her in every month. Never once though did he say that he didn't care about her just as much as she did him. Lupin would have been excited, terrified, but thrilled to be a dad and in one night the woman he loved, and their unborn child were stolen away from him.

Harry stood and began pacing the tent. How many more people were going to die? How many lives would be ruined? How many orphans would be left behind? How many more times would he have to ask himself these questions? There was no more time to waste. He needed to be ready, hard, controlled. He needed to push himself to his absolute limits and then push further still. He needed to be prepared.

It had started to rain when Harry walked outside. Not heavy, just a slow and steady stream, almost as though the world was weeping for its loss. Harry looked up and let the rain wash over his face. Determination filled him, he was driven, Moody and Tonks were two deaths too many. He walked up to their makeshift obstacle course and began to climb. He fell hard a few times, he hands were burnt from the rope and his legs were screaming but he didn't care. He got up, brushed himself off and started again.

At some point, Harry had no idea when, the other joined him. They ran, pushed, pulled and climbed. No one had a single word of complaint, they were united with one goal. End Lord Voldemort's reign and try to make the deaths, the pain, mean something.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Two months after Tonks and Moody's deaths Harry began to notice very real changes in his body. He was able to run for longer and lift much more, he needed less coffee to get going in the mornings and generally felt better. He also noticed that he was starting to get definition on his chest, arms and legs. He had never been overweight, the Dursley's had seen to that, but now he seemed to be harder, more toned. His sleeping habits had also begun to improve. After realising that Draco had similar night terrors to Harry, Hermione got to work on a dreamless sleep potion. They had to be careful because it was highly addictive, but Hermione theorised that if they took small doses, the could at least have a couple of hours of much needed rest.

All wasn't roses however. Remus would bring them copies of the daily prophet to keep them updated on the state of the world. Harry was being targeted as a traitor to wizarding kind and it seemed that every week someone they knew, however distantly turned up dead. Draco's training had increased even further when they found out that Blaise Zabini's body was found mutilated in Diagon Alley, the working theory was Fenrir Greyback was the perpetrator.

In early September Harry found himself in a right foul mood, he slammed books down and burnt dinner. Snape had made him stand in a storm for four hours until he had successfully cast a stunning spell nonverbally also while using occlumency. After Snape had left Harry locked himself in the shower for an hour and spent the rest of the evening shooting murderous glances at anyone who dared tried to speak to him.

Eventually he threw himself into the spare armchair, Hermione had her nose in a book and Ron and Draco were playing chess. "Explain something to me." Harry said, still shaking with rage. "Why the hell doesn't he push you lot nearly as hard? Why does he always have to bloody pick on me?"

Draco looked up briefly from the chess board to roll his eyes. "You seriously still don't get it do you?"

"No I seriously don't," Harry folded his arms tight. "Ever since I was eleven he's rode me harder than anyone else. If you have any insights please feel free to enlighten me."

Draco cursed when Ron took his knight. "You really are dense Harry."

"You're not helping Draco." Harry pointed out.

Draco looked up at him again rolling his eyes, Harry was starting to wonder when they would roll out of his head. "Severus is hardest on you because he knows that you can do more than what you give him. He pushes you the hardest because he knows that you're capable of performing magic that the rest of us can only dream of. That's not a compliment by the way it's the truth."

"If that's the truth, he's got a bloody funny way of showing it." Harry mumbled.

"It makes sense Harry." Hermione put down her book. "He could never show you favouritism at Hogwarts because of his position between the Order and the Death Eaters."

"And now?"

"Old habit die hard mate." Ron said studying the board. "Also he doesn't like you but that doesn't mean he wants to see you waste it."

"Back at school I was so jealous of how much attention Snape paid to you." Draco said taking one of Ron's pieces. "He was my head of house and he barely spared my work a glance. Face it Harry, the three of us we're here training to survive. You're the one training to win."

Harry sat back in his seat and let what Draco said wash over him. Reluctantly, he had to admit, it kind of made sense. Harry, though still believing his previous successes were largely due to dumb luck, had to admit he was a powerful wizard. He may not master spells first, that was Hermione's job, but his were always the strongest, his Patronus was the perfect example. Maybe Snape did actually care, if he truly hated Harry as much as he did his father, why would he also stand in a storm for hours waiting for Harry to succeed? After that night, Harry looked at Snape's training differently and even managed to get an impressed look as a reward.

It was a cold night in late November when everything changed. They were sitting in the 'living room' having a rare evening of fun. Ron had made fun of Draco's Quidditch team and Draco hexed 'Weasel' across Ron's forehead in pink ink. Harry and Hermione were in pain from laughing at the two of them. They were about to crack open a bottle of Firewhiskey, the first since Harry's birthday, when Remus and Snape walked in.

The appearance of their former professors alone would be cause for concern, the two never came in together, add that to the looks on their face made it frightening. All laughter died as they watched them enter, Remus pulled over two of the dinning table chairs and said, "We need to talk."

"The Dark Lord is aware that you have not left the country." Snape said darkly.

"How?" Harry exclaimed.

"It seems that Mundungus let it slip when he was drinking at the Hogs Head." Remus said eyes downcast. "Obviously he has no idea where you are or what you are doing so Voldemort can't know exactly where to look."

"But the point is he's now looking." Hermione interjected. "He's sending people out?"

"Yes." Said Snape.

"But we've proven that our wards work. Those Muggle-Borns had no idea we were anywhere near them." The previous week a group of wizards trying to escape persecution had camped out next to them, not once glancing in their direction.

"While it is true that the protective shields that you cast are sufficient to escape the notice of people," Snape said with obvious forced calm. "The would not stop a more, determined, attack. We feel that it is prudent that you separate."

"You mean split up?" Harry was very much on the defensive.

"You're as eloquent as ever." Snape drawled. "Yes Potter, split up."

"No." Harry said with certainty. "What if he finds us? We're no where near ready to face Voldemort alone! Not in a direct fight."

"You're not ready to face him together either." Snape countered.

"Then how are we meant to survive if we have even less of a chance?" Harry could hear his voice rising.

"I think," Draco said, staring at Snape. "They've already thought that through. This isn't about protecting all of us is it?:

"Oh." Hermione, suddenly on the same page. "Oh!"

"Will someone please fill Harry and I in?" Ron said shooting everyone a look of confusion.

"If we get caught while we're together the chances are that we wouldn't survive an hour, let alone the night." Draco began to explain.

"But," Hermione continued. "If we split in half ad two of us are captured or killed, there will still be two of us out there to pick up the fight."

"We're not just a bunch of kids learning how to fight anymore." Draco said darkly. "We're the front line of defence, waiting for the generals orders."

Harry felt a deep sense of betrayal, surely they weren't prepared to let them all just die. "Do you agree with this Remus?"

"What I agree or disagree with doesn't matter much here Harry," Remus said sadly. "If it were up to me, you would be hidden away from the fighting and wouldn't be allowed anywhere near the war. It is up to you however at the end of the day. The general consensus is that this is the best chance of survival for the greatest amount of people. I believe the phrase the needs of the many was used."

"You must realise," Snape interjected. Wards can be broken with enough force and considering the price on yours and Draco's heads Potter, bounty hunters will be ruthless."

After a moment of the four teens looking helplessly at each other, Hermione said. "I think we could do it."

"Hermione no!" Harry pleaded. "I won't let you, any of you, go off on your own. You're only here because of me, if anything happened."

"Harry I may not like it, but you have to admit, it makes sense." Hermione grabbed Harry's hand. "I love you, but this isn't just about you anymore. It's bigger than that, bigger than all of us."

Harry wanted to scream that her words were wrong, that she was wrong. He wanted to crawl away and cry at the prospect. He wanted to be eleven again when his biggest worry was a three headed dog.

Hermione took a deep breath to try and fight the tears forming. "I'm going to go with Ron, you need to stay with Draco. You and Ron are our strongest fighters, Draco and I have the book smarts."

"Hermione, no, please, I need you." Harry didn't care that he was begging, he didn't care that Snape was probably sneering. He would happily get on his hands and knees if it would convince her to stay. She was the one person who never once doubted him, she was his pillar.

"Harry James Potter stop this right now." Hermione chock out the words, she stopped fighting the tears. "I love you and you are making this impossible."

"I might never see you again." Harry whispered.

"Then you'll fight harder." She said with the fire in her eyes that only Hermione could conjure. "Don't you dare give up on me."

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to centre himself, eventually he reluctantly nodded. Remus and Snape gave Harry and Draco a second small tent and Hermione charmed a backpack with the same spells as her own tiny hand bag and they set about splitting up food supplies and books. After handing Harry the coordinates to where he and Draco were to go the next morning, Remus and Snape left them to their last night together.

Once they were alone, the air felt heavy with unsaid words and pent up emotion. The sun was down and there was a bitter chill in the air. Harry couldn't seem to find the words, how do you say goodbye for what could be the last time? Instead he took out a bottle of Firewhiskey that they were already planning on opening. The neck of the bottle had a small note that said 'Remember to smile every now and then. Love Ginny xx'

The four drank in silence, all in consumed by their own thoughts. On their second glass, Hermione began to giggle uncontrollably.

"What's so funny?" Ron asked, bemused.

"Oh, I was just remembering," Hermione giggled again. "When Myrtle had that crush on Harry."

Ron burst into loud laughter and Draco asked, "Moaning Myrtle, the ghost in the loo?"

"Oh god don't remind me." Harry put his head in a pillow.

"You're kidding! Oh I wish I had of known!" Draco was ecstatic.

"No joke." Ron said with a smile. "She turned into quote the little stalker as well."

"Please stop." Harry begged.

"Harry had snuck into the prefects bathroom during the Triwizard." Hermione said with a sly smile to Draco. "And there she was, hiding in a faucet, got a good view as well if you believe the gossip."

"She was bloody terrifying!" Harry groaned. "She wanted me to haunt her loo with her. She and Romilda Vane could swap tips."

"You must be used to the stalkers by now though surely?" Draco smiled. "Didn't Weasels sister and that Creevey kid have a thing for you in second year?"

"Oh the Valentine!" Hermione gasped. "I had forgotten!"

"Lucky you." Harry said lamely.

"How did it go again?" Ron said with glee.

"His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad." Draco started to sing, Ron and Hermione quickly joining in. Harry just sunk further into his seat mumbling about how they weren't real friends.

Their night continued in a similar vein, swapping stories and laughing about all their adventures during their Hogwarts days. Malfoy was mortified when he found out just how many rules they had not only broken but got away with, especially so when he heard about Harry and Ron's trip into the Slytherin common room. They talked until the early morning, laughing about their innocent years. One by one they drifted to sleep in a pile on the floor.

The next morning Harry woke with a pounding headache, he wished for a time turner, so he could convince himself to not open that second bottle. Groaning he got up and drowned his woes in the shower. When he emerged everyone else was awake in a similar state, no one forgets their first hangover. After they were all showered, drinking multiple coffees and tea and dressed for the day they began to feel something akin to their normal selves. It was early afternoon when they decided that they couldn't put off the inevitable any longer.

Draco hung back to the side when Harry was saying his goodbyes, not wanting to interrupt or intrude on the scene. When Hermione withdrew from Harry, she walked over and threw her arms around Draco's neck and said, "Look after him, please?" Ron gave him a tight hand shake and a swift nod. The last thing they saw was Hermione crying into Ron's shoulder.

They apparated onto a deserted beach, it was freezing. Draco set up the wards and made sure to include warming charms, Harry erected the tent and began to unpack. This tent was smaller than the other, just two single beds, a double sofa, a small bookshelf, a two-seater dinning set, a small kitchen and a tiny bathroom.

They threw their bags on the beds and stood awkwardly. "So what now?" Draco asked.

"I don't know." Harry responded. "I really don't want to just sit around though, I need to do something."

Draco gave him a small smirk. "I bet I can beat you to 100 push ups."

Harry gave a bark of laughter. "You're on."

So they spent their afternoon trying to one up each other. Neither pushing very hard, just trying to keep busy, trying to keep distracted. Remus turned up as the afternoon was wearing thin and stayed for dinner. Harry had a sneaking suspicion that Lupin wanted to make sure that Harry wasn't still upset with him, Harry made sure to give him an extra squeeze when they hugged goodnight.

As Harry was getting ready for bed, he was suddenly filled with absolute dread. Hermione, ever the organiser, had forgotten to resupply them with Dreamless Sleep potion. He had become so accustomed to the gentle effects, the little amount they had wasn't enough to completely stop the dreams, but it dulled them. Harry and Draco were in for a few nights. It wasn't a potion Draco could brew in a few minutes, it needed to stew for at least a week.

Harry laid down on his head and tried to use his shaky at best occlumency skills to clear his mind. What felt like hours later his mind reluctantly gave in to his heavy eyelids.

He was at The Burrow in Ron's dramatically bright orange room. How did he get here? He shouldn't be here, it was too dangerous for him to be this close to the Weasley's, he needed to get back to Draco. He started to walk through the door when he heard a scream come from below him. Taking the stairs two at a time he ran into the living room, the scene he found made him sink to his knees and bile rise to throat. Arthur and Molly were lying in a pool of their own blood, the twins were both lying with their necks at odd angles and Ginny was sprawled across the couch naked and cut open neck to pelvis.

"No" Harry breathed, he tried to rouse George, but nothing was working, they were all gone. Another scream came from outside. Harry ran and realised he didn't have his wand, was it in Ron's room or was it still in the tent with Draco? He was undefended and useless. When he walked out the door, his blood turned cold. Rony was lying on the ground and Voldemort was standing over him, wand in hand.

"Harry Potter," Voldemort sneered through thin, almost non-existent lips. "Good of you to finally appear, I've been waiting for you." He pointed his wand down at Ron and said clearly, "Avada Kedavra!"

Harry was screaming but no sound was coming, the scene started to change. He was thrown to the ground, looking around he saw that he was in the shrieking shack. Draco was on his knees and his father was standing over him.

"Father, please stop." Draco begged. "I'll do it but please don't hurt him."

"You will do it and you will hurt him boy!" Lucius dragged Draco by his hair. "You will take the mark and you will kill Harry Potter."

Harry was tied to a chair with no memory of how that happened. "Draco why are we here?" Harry's voice was horse.

The Malfoys didn't seem to hear him, or they were choosing to ignore him. Lucius pulled up his left sleeve and put his wand against the Dark Mark tattooed there. Harry was screaming for them to stop, but they were taking no notice. Voldemort appeared within seconds.

"Draco good of you to finally appear, we have been ever so concerned." Voldemort forced Draco's sleeve up. "I am a forgiving lord of course to those who deserve it. Your betrayal will be forgotten if you kill our young hero here." Voldemort put his wand one Draco's left forearm and Draco screamed loud and painfully. When he looked back at Harry, his eyes showed nothing but hate.

"You were meant to stop this! You were meant to protect me!" Draco bellowed, betrayal evident in his eyes. "This is all your fault! Avada Kedav-"

His surroundings changed again. He was in the middle of the Great Hall, Bellatrix was standing on a table. She was cackling high pitched and gleeful.

"Had enough yet you filthy Mudblood?" Bellatrix screamed

"Harry!" Hermione yelled. Harry couldn't move, forced to watch the scene play out. He had to keep reminding himself that Bellatrix Lastrange was dead, Snape killed her.

"No one's coming for you girl, no one cares! You're nothing but a worthless Mudblood who's whole point in life is to be my entertainment. It's sport!" Bellatrix taunted. She jumped down off the table and pulled Hermione up to her knees by her hair. "Scream for me."

"No." Hermione spat in her captors face.

"You fucking disgusting waste of breath!" Bellatrix threw her back to the ground, pointed her wand and screamed, "Crucio!"

"Harry! Harry!" A voice was piercing the hall barely audible above Hermione's screams. "Harry you need to waken up!" Harry was being shaken, but that didn't make any sense, he needed to help Hermione. "Harry you're fine! Harry you're safe!"

"Draco?" Harry croaked his eyes flying open. "What's going on?"

"You were screaming in your sleep." Draco was kneeling by the bed. "Budge up a bit."

Harry sat up and moved over to the very edge of his bed, so Draco could sit down next to him. Harry was still shaking but after a lot of practice he had learned how to calm himself down.

They sat in silence for a while, both staring into the distance. Harry slid down in the bed and rolled over to face Draco. "Draco will you tell me about it?"

Draco slid down and faced Harry, the small bed was rather cramped. "Tell you about what?"

"What it was like there, at your home, before your mother got you out." Harry said. "What you dream about."

"You don't ask for a lot do you?" Draco fell silent and breathed deep, Harry was just about to say forget about it when Draco began his story. "It was hell. I don't mean figuratively, I genuinely believe I was in hell. Aunt Bella, she had convinced herself that I needed to toughen up. I was head of the family now since my father was locked up and I needed to start acting like it. She started randomly casting the Cruciatus Curse on me. I'd be eating breakfast or just walking down the hall and she would sneak up behind me, once I was even in the shower, that's how I got these." Draco pulled his shirt to the side and showed Harry the thick scar running from the bottom of his neck, along his collar bone. Harry used his fingers to trace the line. "It got worse whenever Voldemort turned up, I think she was trying to impress him.

"They all started talking about my initiation almost as soon as I got back home for the summer. The plan was for me to take the mark the week before school went back." Draco seemed to be staring through Harry. "The mark isn't just an ugly tattoo, it magically links you to him, you feel his emotions and you must come whenever he calls. Apparently it wont stick to innocent flesh however, I needed to do my duty as a 'ruling pure-blood'. Voldemort requires you to lose that innocence by killing a muggle during the ceremony. Mother told me about the pain you feel when he actually marks you, she says it's like everyone you have ever loved dies in the one moment.

"She walked in on me throwing up the night after she told me the truth. I was honest with her, I told her I couldn't do it, that I didn't want to turn into my father." Draco's voice became a whisper. "I felt weak. Mother and father could both do it, it was finally achieving everything I was raised to believe was right. Why couldn't I have that strength? That was when she told me what she was planning with Dumbledore, I couldn't believe how lucky I was. It didn't even occur to me that she wasn't planning on coming with me, not until I left three days later, and she didn't come with me. She had written me a letter that I didn't find until I was at Grimmauld Place that night."

After a long silence Harry finally said, "Well, fuck."

"Yeah, that just about sums it up." Draco looked into Harry's eyes. "Harry, can I stay here tonight?"

"Sure, just don't kick me." Harry smiled. Eventually they both fell into a restful sleep, neither of them had another bad dream that night.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N –** I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has stuck with this fic so far and took the time to review, you are all amazing! This fic has 4 more chapters including this one and will get very dark.

I am currently on the look out for a Beta for my next one so if you know of anyone or are one yourself can you please send me a PM? Thank you xx SBP

 **Chapter 9**

The next morning Draco sent Snape a Patronus requesting the necessary ingredients to brew a Dreamless Sleep potion. They were left disappointed and slightly terrified however when Snape's response came, the silver doe said, 'you are both idiots what in the name of Merlin do you think you're doing?' Their potions professor turned up twenty minutes later. He was seething as he entered the tent, Harry and Draco suddenly felt like they were back in the classroom messing up a simple assignment. He berated them for using a potion designed for singular use as a regular sleeping aide. Never mind the risk of addiction, the damage it could cause to internal organs was irreversible. He gave them a store of mild calming draughts instead and insisted if they ever needed advice on potion dosage to see a potions master, not a student.

After three nights of waking up with nightmares and ending up in each other's beds by morning, Draco used a connection charm and just fused the beds together. Snape walked in the morning after Draco did this, Draco merely raised an eyebrow daring Snape to mention it.

New Year's Eve was snowing heavily, Draco cast one of Hermione's signature fires in a jar and left it in the centre of the tent. The pair were sitting around it and Harry was contemplating opening the last bottle of Firewhiskey when Remus walked in.

"Evening." Nervous didn't quite cover the look in Lupin's eye.

"What are you doing here?" Harry smiled from the couch. Remus had only been gone a few hours, as he had spent Christmas with Harry and Draco he had promised to spend tonight with Ron and Hermione.

"You need to read something." Remus pulled out a copy of the Daily Prophet. "It was printed today. Just remember that we will do everything that we can to fix this."

Harry's smile fell. He stood and took the paper, placing it on the dining room table, he and Draco began to read.

 _The Order's Latest Betrayal_  
 _The Wizengamot is again receiving praise from Ministry officials and members of the public today after uncovering yet another of the now dismantled and shamed Order of the Phoenix's plots. As readers are now aware, since the death of the Order's leader, Albus Dumbledore, more and more accusations have come to light. Currently there are four cases before the courts and more being investigated. It is clear now that the group was not striving for peace and acceptance like we were once forced to believe, but they were slowly trying to undermine the Ministry for Magic while taking away our liberties and our choice of lifestyles._  
 _The most recent revelation comes from, until recently, assumed deceased Peter Pettigrew. Last year Albus Dumbledore gave testimony stating that convicted mass murderer Sirius Black was in fact innocent of the charges that sent him to Azkaban for twelve years. That testimony successfully expunged Black's record._  
 _Some would argue that Pettigrew's testimony today proves Dumbledore's accounts of events to be accurate. However, as we learned last night, there is always more to the story._  
 _Pettigrew has testified that he was terrified of his once friend Sirius Black. So scared that he was forced to fake his own death in order to survive. He only felt safe to come out of hiding once Black was confirmed dead a year and a half ago. When asked what he had to say in response to Dumbledore and, now reported as missing, Harry Potter's joint testimony that he had in fact resurfaced four years ago, Pettigrew grew sombre. He spoke of the love he had for Potter's parents and of his fears that Dumbledore has corrupted our saviour for good._  
 _According to Criminal Decree Number 713 any conviction can only go through the appeals process twice. This means, Peter Pettigrew can now sleep peacefully for the first time in almost eighteen years, secure in the knowledge that he will never be marked as a guilty man again. Sirius Black will now and forever be remembered for the crimes that he was imprisoned for._

"No." Harry growled, his arms were shaking and had to lean on the table to support himself.

"Harry, this is undoubtably an attempt to draw you out." Remus urged. "We will fight this when it's all over, I promise you we will."

When a glass flew off of the shelf behind them, Draco quickly extinguished the open flame and pulled Lupin towards the door. "You need to leave Remus."

"I'm not going anywhere Draco." Remus shook his head. "If I leave and he goes after them, it's my fault. I can't have his death on my hands as well."

"He needs to calm down, if he hurts you, he'll never forgive himself." Draco hissed. "He needs to let it out, you know that. I'll put a body bind on him before I let him walk out that door. Please Remus I'll get word to you tomorrow, just go."

Remus closed his eyes and nodded. "I'm trusting you." Draco heard the veiled threat in his words.

When Draco heard the crack of Lupin's disapparition Draco turned back to Harry, the scene was surreal. Harry was standing, hands braced on the table in front of him, looking at him you would be forgiven for thinking he was just deep in thought. That is until you noticed the debris behind him. Books, glasses, shoes, anything loose inside the tent was floating in a circle serenely. A slow tornado of objects powered by Harry's uncontrolled magic.

"Potter," Draco moved carefully forward. "Harry you need to calm down."

Harry turned his head to face Draco but seemed to stare into a world beyond them both. He drew in a shaking breath and when he let it go a sound escaped that was not Potter's voice. A scream that Draco could only describe as guttural and primal filled the tent, it was the sound of Harry's heart breaking. When the scream finally ended, Draco instinctively cast a Protego and it was not a second too soon. The once slowly orbiting objects turned into dangerous projectiles with enough force behind them to rival even the most determined bludger.

Harry drew his wand and began blasting apart every piece of furniture within sight, he summoned the once floating objects and cast jinx's on them Draco had never seen before. The sofa was left split in two, the bed was turned into a pile of fluff, springs and drifting feathers and the kitchen became little more that broken wood and rubble. Harry was gasping for breath as he turned to slowly survey the damage, searching for anything else that he could release his anger onto. His eyes rested on Draco who, despite releasing his shield, looked terrified. Harry pounced.

Draco was held against the tent wall, Harry's hand tight around his throat and wand held to his temple. Draco held his breath waiting for Harry to do anything, after what felt an age Harry threw his wand and punched him in the eye. Draco was fairly certain that his head had split in two. Harry pushed him harder against the wall and bared his teeth.

"Are you going to kill me?" Draco chocked out, the hand on his throat was painfully tight. "It won't change anything if you do. I'm not Pettigrew."

Draco watched as Harry's nostrils flared and felt the fingers around his throat tighten still more, he was starting to think that maybe killing him was exactly what Harry had planned. There were worst ways to go, Draco reasoned with himself. Instead, Harry closed whatever little distance that was left between them. It was not the first kiss you read in romantic stories about heroes and their maidens or what you tell you kids about when talking of first loves, it was a brutal show of force. It was a mess of tongues and teeth, battling for control. Harry was painfully pulling Draco's hair and Draco was gripping Harry's hips hard enough to bruise, despite the heavy layers of cloth.

Harry yanked Draco's hair to the side and moved his attack to the pale ear, neck, collar bone, wherever his mouth could find purchase. Draco groaned and pulled Harry's hips flush against his own making their erections rub together. The shock seemed to tear Harry out of whatever spell he was under. He pushed himself away and walked backwards into the overturned sofa.

"Draco, oh my god, I'm so sor-"

"Potter don't you dare go getting all high and mighty and noble on me now." Draco panted, glaring across the room. "If you don't get over here and finish what you bloody well started, I swear to Merlin Voldemort will have to get in line."

Harry looked up with a smirk that could rival Draco's own and moved forward again, resuming the assault without the ferocity about even more intense. Harry's shirt was torn into three pieces and the buttons of Draco's lay scattered across the room. Both were panting hard and when their naked erections were finally pushed together, Draco was certain he was about to implode.

"Oh fuck, Harry!" Draco screamed as Harry moved his hand to grasp both cocks between them. It was a symphony of moans and grunts, a flurry of mouths and hands. It was messy and awkward, and they would both be sporting bruises the next morning, neither cared one bit. Together they were working through years of torment, pain and loss. Draco came without warning in streams of white, Harry was not far behind.

They stood grasping each other as their bodies come down from their highs. When he had the strength of body and mind Draco waved his wand at the bed, restoring it to what it was, everything else could wait until morning. There were no 'what are we?' conversations or whispers of sweet nothings. That's not what this was about and they both knew it. This was about two people who knew the pain of too much loss and the need to release the pent-up anger and guilt that they were both victims to. They fell asleep and the dreams that plagued them nightly did not return to torment them, the both merely closed their eyes and had a very natural dreamless sleep.

Harry woke in the early hours feeling tired but rested, he figured that his body was so accustomed to waking at this time that it was forcing him out of bed now. He carefully slid out of the covers, trying not to wake Draco who had draped an arm across his chest during the night. He walked through the tent, feeling ashamed of his outburst as he looked at the destruction he had caused. He stood at the entrance of their tent and watched the snow fall. He wasn't actually seeing anything, too lost in his own thoughts.

"You're brooding." Draco's voice said from somewhere behind him.

"That I am." Harry said, turning around he watched Draco stalk up towards him covered only by a pair of underwear. The evidence of the night before was glaringly obvious. "Are you ok?"

"Worried about me?" Draco cocked an eyebrow. "Scared I'm going to fall hopelessly in love after one almost shag? You're the Gryffindor not me."

"You're such a prat." Harry rolled his eyes and turned back to the snow. "Your chest is a mess and you have a black eye. Do you need me to heal it?"

"Nah leave it, it makes me look all dark, mysterious and dangerous." Draco leaned against the other side of the tent entrance. "Sickle for your thoughts?"

"I'm going to kill Pettigrew." The clarity and determination in Harry's voice left no room for a debate on the ethics. "Not out of self defence or because some seer made a twisted prophecy about it but because I want to. I want to watch it happen, I want to feel his last breath, I want him to know that it was me that finally got him. I want to enjoy the fact that I was the reason that the world is finally rid of him.

"It's all his fault," Harry took a calming breath. "It's his fault that my parents are dead, his fault that Cedric died. He's the reason Voldemort came back and every death since that night comes back to him. All of that blood is on Pettigrew's hands."

Draco nodded beside him, if anyone understood Harry's resolve it was him. "You get Pettigrew and Voldemort but do not even think about even touching Lucius, he's mine."

They stood in silence staring out into the snow, lost in thoughts of vengeance and absolution. There would be no training that day, both men were too focussed on what was happening in their own heads. As the sun rose they fixed the path of Harry's destruction and sent a reassuring Patronus to Remus. They then spent the day in bed, desperate to distract themselves from painful memories and vengeful thoughts.

As night fell Draco was about to take Harry in his mouth, returning a favour, when a bright light filled the tent. A silver doe reared in front of them and Snape's voice filled the room. "I'll be there in ten, do ensure that Potter has his emotions in check."

"Fuck." They said together and scrambled to dress and clean up any evidence of how they had spent their day. It was only after Snape had entered and stood blinking at Draco when Harry realised that they had neglected to cover up the purple hickey below Draco's left ear. Mortified was too soft a word to describe Harry's emotions when Snape raised an eyebrow at him. He wasn't ashamed of what they had done but there were certain things that you didn't want your school teachers to know.

"I see Weasley and Granger had nothing to worry about after all." Snape said slowly. "They were under the impression that you would have stopped at nothing to go off and murder Pettigrew in a fit of idiotic heroics."

"Yes well, I got distracted." Harry put his chin up, refusing to blush. Draco didn't seem to have the same resolve.

"So it appears." Snape muttered under his breath. "Do ensure that your, distraction as you call it, does not interfere with what we are doing here. I will be back at five tomorrow morning. If either of you are not ready, you'll be training in your undergarments, without a warming charm."

"He's a twat." Harry grumbled when Snape had left. "You don't think he's serious do you? It's snowing."

"I do yes." Draco was standing at the mirror studying his bruised neck. "Merlin, you're a bloody cannibal. Do you have no self-control?"

"Firstly," Harry smiled. "You definitely weren't complaining at the time, quite the opposite actually. And secondly you can't exactly talk. I think I'm going to have a permeant scar on my shoulder blade thanks to your nails."

"At least you can wear a shirt to cover that." Draco said with a frown. "I'm going to have to use a glamour on this for a week."

True to his word, Snape turned up at precisely five am and look thoroughly put out to find both Harry and Draco ready and waiting for him. He made up for it by pressing them harder and further than he ever had before. Together they pushed each other to be as strong together as they were apart. When they teamed up they began to unconsciously synchronise until in March they were able to not only disarm but also incapacitate Remus and Snape by the time April ended both of them could win two against one. Their bodies grew even harder and their resolve even more so, it had begun to be almost too easy for them to win and when sparring against each other, they were too evenly matched for either of them to outperform the other.

On the last night of May, Harry was sitting in an arm chair unlacing my boots as Draco walked out of the shower dressed only in a towel.

"Potter my ass hurts." Draco scowled at him.

Harry smiled. "You're the one who said, 'I'm not a girl Harry just put it in', you really can't blame me for obeying your orders."

Draco glared at him. "Since when do you pay attention to the rules?"

Harry was about to respond when Snape walked through the entrance, he had taken to turning up unannounced. Harry had a suspicion that he was trying to keep Harry and Draco from doing anything, untoward, but Harry was secretly hoping to scare his professor with the visual. Snape looked down at Harry and said, "You're ready."

"I know." Harry was hoping this day was coming soon, he was growing impatient. "When do we leave?"

"Granger and Weasley will apparate here tomorrow afternoon." Snape said sitting in the chair across, Draco sat down on the arm of Harry's. "You will then take a port key that is scheduled to leave at six to a secure Order of the Phoenix safe house. Kingsley will update you on the current state of affairs from there." Snape handed Harry a note that had an address written in Kingsley's neat hand. "I suggest you both get a fair amount of sleep, it may be your last chance."

Harry nodded and stood up as Snape moved to leave. "Snape," Harry called, he walked towards his old professor and held out a steady hand. "Thank you." Snape stared at Harry for a long moment before nodding and shaking the had once. Harry figured that was as good and as rare as a hug from the man.

"So," Draco said rising from where he sat once Snape left. "Our last night alone."

"Yeah, I guess it is," Harry looked into Draco's grey eyes and was suddenly overwhelmed by too many thoughts and emotions. He had been waiting for this day yes, but suddenly he felt very much not ready. One way or another his fight with Voldemort, the one he had been fighting since the day he was born, was almost over. He was going to see his best friends, his family again. He was re-entering the world of witches, wizards and awe-inspiring magic, he was going home. His relationship, or what ever you wanted to call it, with Draco was ending. It all felt like too much at once.

He would no longer have the warmth that kept the nightmares at bay. He would no longer have the one person who understood his pain. He would no longer have an outlet to release his anger and guilt. Would he need it though once it was all over? Would he still want it? What they had wasn't love, of that he was sure, it was mutual need, mutual respect, mutual desire. No, love was soft words and gentle embraces. Love was wanting to raise a family and growing old together. Draco kept Harry alive and Harry did the same, but it was only for long enough. Once their mission was over they were both free to live or die as they saw fit.

"I honestly don't know what to do." Harry said feeling dread and despair. Part of him wanted to run, part of him wanted to crawl into a ball and cry, part of him wanted to run off and finish it all tonight and part of him wanted to rip off Draco's towel and go to town.

"Come here." Draco said holding out his arm. When Harry walked into the embrace Draco cupped his jaw and kissed him deeply and with gentle care. Unlike their other acts of intimacy, this wasn't intense passion, this wasn't a need for release, this was comfort and warmth. "You're going to go have a shower and come to bed. You're going to cry while I do what I will deny doing for the rest of our lives, I'll hold you while you do that. You're going to go to sleep and tomorrow you will wake up as Harry Potter the hero, saviour of the wizarding world, the chosen one. Tonight, you can be weak and scared. Tomorrow is when we need you to be the, as Snape puts it, 'the idiotic hero.'"

And that's what Harry did. He allowed himself to panic, to be scared, to cry. He let himself mourn his lot in life, he was only seventeen after all. True to his word, Draco held him close and let Harry lament until exhaustion finally took over. The next morning Draco gently took Harry for the first time, usually Harry had the power, but he gladly gave it up, it was nice to be cared for.

They packed up their tent and took down the wards in time to see a tall red head and a bushy brunette appear in front of them. Harry couldn't help but smile as he was pulled into a four-way group hug.

If he couldn't succeed with these three, he couldn't succeed at all.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The four apparated onto a dark and deserted country lane, Harry could just make out the twinkling lights of a distant village on the horizon. The air was crisp, and the dirt road was hard and dry beneath their feet. Harry had cast disillusionment charms on them all before they left so only bodyless footprints followed them as they walked. Harry thought about the words on the parchment Snape had given him and as if waiting to be called forward a large manor home began to materialise out of thin air.

The house was huge, three stores and was almost twice as wide, painted a pale blue with white trimmings around the pillars and window sills. The front garden was lush and thriving, obviously someone spent a great deal of time and energy keeping it blooming, this was someone's pride and joy. This was not a home one would expect to find the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, though, neither was Grimmauld Place. A gentle rustle of leaves was the only warning he had, Harry threw himself to the ground and yelled 'Down!' just as a crimson stunner passed over them.

"Show yourself!" A voice bellowed from behind the tree.

Harry quickly released his own disillusionment and stood up. "Charlie, it's me, Harry Potter."

Charlie's wand waivered a little but did not lower. "Prove it!"

Harry was expecting this and had prepared a vast array of answers. "My name is Harry James Potter, I was born to James and Lily Potter on July 31st, 1980. I am your youngest brother's best friend and in my first year you helped us to smuggle a Norwegian Ridgeback by the name of Norbert out of Hogwarts.

"I knew it." Draco hissed behind him.

Charlie broke into a dazzling smile and hugged Harry tight. "Oh it's so good to see you. Where's Ron and Hermione?"

Harry waved his wand and one by one Ron, Hermione and Draco appeared before them. Ron rushed forward and pulled Charlie against him tightly. "Charlie, seriously, you have no idea how brilliant it is to see you." Ron pulled away and said. "Where's everyone else?"

Charlie embraced Hermione and said, "An owl came from mum a few hours ago, Bill went to check up on her but one of us needed to stay to make sure you got here." Charlie turned to face Draco. "You must be Malfoy Junior. It took a long time to convince some of us around here that you were really on our side."

Draco held his head high and stuck out his chin. "It took a long time to convince myself that not all Weasley's were insufferable twats."

Charlie laughed easily and shook Draco's hand enthusiastically. "We should get inside, Bill should be back soon I swear, and the lady of the house is going spare waiting for you."

Charlie led them through the solid oak front door, through a room that seemed to serve as an entrance hall, sitting room and Floo entry, and into a large kitchen that overlooked another set of gorgeous gardens. Standing at the stove was the tall, dark and bald Kingsley Shacklebolt wearing the most horrendous pink and frilly apron. Harry thought that it could have very well been owned by Dolores Umbridge.

"Looking stunning Kingsley." Harry chuckled as they walked into the kitchen.

Kingsley turned away from the boiling pot with a smile that said he was genuinely glad and relieved to see Harry standing there. He walked over and hugged him like a long-lost friend, or even, Harry thought, a brother. "Harry it is wonderful to see you."

Harry couldn't help but feel calmed by Kingsley's deep baritone. "It's good to see you too."

"Kingsley Shacklebolt! What do you think you're doing?!" A female's heavily accented voice yelled, Harry thought it could possibly be Jamaican. "What did I tell you about that pot? That sauce needs to be stirred constantly, seriously I ask you to do one thing!" Harry turned to see a short, stout and dark-skinned woman. She was wearing a Mumu in more colours than Harry could count, and her hands were placed firmly on her hips. This was a woman Harry wouldn't even attempt to cross.

"Harry, please let me introduce my mother." Kingsley said as he returned to the stove. "This is her home."

"Harry? Harry Potter?" She stared at him sternly, staring him up and down. If Harry was waiting for the usual hero worship that accompanied his name, it was clear that this woman was not going to oblige.

"Hello Mrs Shacklebolt, it's a pleasure to meet you." Harry tried to be as polite as possible.

The woman merely scowled at him. "You're a right mess you are. You all are. You'll go and shower before we eat, and a proper shower mind you, no freshening charms." She clicked her fingers at Charlie. "You there, go and show them where they're sleeping."

Charlie jumped off his stool so fast Harry suspected a stinging hex to his behind. Charlie led them up a wide set of staircases, up to the top floor and pushed open a set of wide double doors. "Mrs Shacklebolt wanted you to be comfortable, apparently you've slept outside for too long and a decent bed does wonders for the soul. She's full on but she cares, a lot like mum really."

The room was actually more akin to a studio apartment. There were four beds placed throughout the room, almost like the Hogwarts dormitories. The room was furnished with large wardrobes, bookshelves and a large desk. There was a bathroom off on the opposite side of the room and it was immaculately decorated in porcelain white with black accents. Harry thought that he would have needed to shower for a week before he would feel clean enough to get into the large clawed bathtub in the centre of the room.

Charlie left to wait for Bill and the four set about making themselves look for presentable. Draco ended up in a heated argument with the mirror when it started to count all of his split ends and Hermione blushed ferociously red when Harry walked out of the bathroom, without his towel, forgetting that it wasn't just him and Draco anymore.

As they walked down the stairs, Harry's nose was assaulted by an aroma he hadn't experienced since his Hogwarts days. Walking into the kitchen, his mouth filled with saliva as he set his eyes on the spread on the table. Steaming bowls of roast vegetables, mounds of freshly baked rolls, four different sauces and sitting pride and place was a giant piece of roast pork, complete with a perfect crackle. The high protein, high calorie diet that they had been living on now seemed horribly inadequate.

The seven dined in loud, overbearing conversations. Charlie was filling Ron in on what each Weasley was doing, Draco and Hermione were discussing something to do with Ancient Runes or Arithmancy or it could have been Potions, Harry really didn't know. Harry himself was fascinated by what Kingsley and his mother had to say. Kingsley's father, as it turned out, was murdered in the first war which is what drove Kingsley to joining the Aurors. Mrs Shacklebolt had dedicated her life to helping muggle-borns to adjust to the wizarding world post Hogwarts. Her dream was to begin a preparatory school for kids to learn about the world from when they first started displaying magical abilities. Harry loved the idea.

After dinner Kingsley served mulled wine with treacle tart, Harry was pretty sure he had just eaten his favourite meal. As conversation lulled, the tension at the end of the table grew to tangible levels. Charlies leg was shaking under the table and Ron looked as if he was pulling out his hair, hunks at a time. Bill had been gone far too long, something was wrong.

Hermione and Draco cleared the table, Mrs Shacklebolt excused herself for bed and Kingsley had just brought down a stack of the most recent order reports when Bill finally walked in. The look on his face made Hermione drop a plate and Ron's face lose all colour.

"What's happened?" Charlie demanded. "Is it mum? Is dad ok? Where are George and Fred?"

"They're fine." Bill collapsed into a chair. "It's Gin, she's in St Mungo's." Bill dragged a weary hand down his face and downed the Firewhiskey that Harry handed him. "Her and some friends were caught trying to smuggle some kids out the school. Apparently, these kids were being tortured in the dungeons. One of them, the Lovegood girl she had a leg and an arm cut off. The Longbottom boy, he, he didn't make it, he's dead. And Ginny, she's, she's been put under some charm that the healers can't reverse. She seems to be living in her own worst fears, she's literally stuck in her own head. They're transferring her to permanent spell damage tomorrow, she hasn't stopped screaming.

Harry felt the air leave his lungs. Luna, the erratic free spirit, forever mutilated. Ginny, the ferocious warrior, trapped forever in her mind. Neville, gone, Harry would never again see his round joyful face or be inspired by how deep his courage went. Harry couldn't stay there, his world was crumbling around him. He needs to run, he needs to scream, he needs to fight, he needs to end this.

He feels panic begin to rise in him, like an unwatched cauldron. They had come so far and they were so close, it was almost over. Why couldn't they have waited just two more days to do something so irresponsible? Why did they have to do something so reckless and obviously stupid? The answer came to him so quickly, the answer was obvious. They were doing what they assumed Harry would have done. A year ago, that's exactly what he would have done, run blindly into danger and deal with the consequences afterwards.

He had already calculated the time it would take to get to the apparition point and was about to walk away when he felt a strong hand in his own. That's when he understood. He didn't need to react in stupidly erratic and irrationally heroic way. He couldn't keep holding himself responsible for what everyone else did in this war. It wasn't his fault that Ginny, Luna and Neville had done this and if he tried to avenge them now, what would it actually accomplish? It wouldn't bring them back and it would only end up taking the focus away from everyone else's grief. Harry took a deep breath and squeezed Draco's hand, because who else's would it be?

"Charlie, Bill, go and be with her, tell your parents that I'll be there when this is over. That I'm coming as fast as I can." Harry turned to Ron and saw the battle raging fighting between strength and grief. "It's up to you, go with them or stay. No judgement."

A weaker man than Harry would have faltered under the look Ron shot him. "I know my duty, if I leave now the last year will be for nothing." He turned to face his brothers. "If I go with you, they'll just come finish the job." He walked out of the door, mumbling something about going to bed.

Harry was about to follow him out, but Draco pulled on his hand and Hermione said, "I'll go."

After the watched Hermione ascend the stairs, Charlie looking lost for words, Bill pulled Harry into a tight hug and said, "We'll be back Harry. Don't you dare leave without me." He pulled away hands firmly on Harry's shoulders. "I've got a score to settle."

Harry pulled him back and hugged him tight, trying to say so much with so little. "I'll get Kingsley to send word, I promise." Harry watched the Weasleys leave and willed himself not to cry.

"Harry are you ok?" Kingsley asked.

"No, I'm really not. But I will be." Harry said honestly, he moved to stare out the kitchen door for a long moment. "I think I need some air."

Harry walked down the small garden path, Mrs Shacklebolt had obviously put a lot of love into this yard. There were beautiful lilies, perfectly trimmed hedges and perfect roses in pinks, yellows and the purest of whites. The yard was bright and colourful, and it was horrendously wrong. The world had no business being this beautiful, he should have been surrounded by reds and blacks. The angel sculptures placed carefully around him should be screaming in agony, not smiling serenely. He watched the wind rustle leaves and listened to an owl hoot merrily. How was it that the world was continuing to spin?

Harry sat on a low concrete bench and let himself cry. He cried for everyone he had lost in this war and the last. His parents, Cedric, Sirius, Dumbledore, Moody, Tonks, Neville and even Draco's mother. Voldemort keeps winning battle after battle, but he would not win the war. With that powerful though Harry pulled himself up and walked back inside. At some point Kingsley had gone to bed and left Draco to peruse the latest Order reports alone.

Draco didn't say a word when Harry walked in, he merely kicked out the chair beside him and slid half of the parchment across. When Harry sat, Draco hooked an ankle around his own. The gesture meant more than any embrace, how was it that Draco always knew exactly what he needed?

The reports were tedious reading. Full of dates, times and technical wording. They detailed at length what the Order either knew or suspected about Death Eater plans and locations. Harry was impressed with how organised they had managed to maintain. Kingsley had even given over his ideas on how the final battle should happen with contingency plans for almost every possible scenario. Harry wondered whether every Auror mission was this planned, he decided then that he never wanted to find out.

Hermione walked in just after one AM looking dishevelled. Draco had said he was going to be twenty minutes earlier, Harry had the suspicion that he actually had the intention of taking over 'Ron watch.'

"Tea?" She asked as she set a pot to boil and summoned mugs, tea bags and milk, Harry gave her an appreciative smile. "Ron's understandably a mess. He's asleep now but it was a right job getting him that way."

"Is he going to be alright?" Harry didn't only mean emotionally. If Ron was distracted during the final battle, he wouldn't just be putting his own life in danger. Too much relied on them, too much rested on their shoulders.

"Oh Harry, I honestly don't know." She handed him a mug and sat down at the table across from him. "I want to be able to say that he'll be able to focus this energy into something productive, but you know how hot headed he is. I don't think even he knows what he's doing. The question I have though is, are you going to be ok?"

Harry took a long sip of his tea. "I can't think about it right now. I've got a job to do."

Hermione gave him a look of marvel. "How is it that you can be so calm? The Harry from school would have tried to leave already, screaming curses at anyone who tried to stop him."

Harry put the report he was reading down and stared directly into Hermione's eyes. "That Harry got people killed." Hermione opened her mouth to argue but Harry held up a hand to stop her. "No Hermione it's true, I did. If I was more like you and thought things through, Sirius would still be here. I can't afford to be angry yet, we've come too far to screw it all up now. Neville deserves so much more than that."

Hermione smiled slyly at him. "Draco's been good for you."

"Yeah I guess he has." Harry suddenly had no desire to talk about the war and plans and death, he had his Hermione back. "So, have you and Ron finally figured out that your stupid fights were just pent up sexual tension? Or are you still in denial?"

Hermione raised her eyebrows with a smile. "Have you and Draco?"

Harry chuckled. "Touché"

Hermione actually started to blush slightly. "We did sleep together, once, that first night after we left you two. It was great, amazing really, lots of fun and exactly what we both needed. The next morning however, everything was different and not in a good way, it was awkward. After skirting around each other for a few days I got fed up and sat him down and we actually had a conversation. Did you know that after being friends for seven years that was the first time we had a real heart to heart? We both decided it would be silly and irresponsible to let it happen again. We needed to stay focussed, logical. We'll talk again when this is all over, but for right now he's just a dear friend." Harry loved that Hermione felt comfortable enough to tell him everything. "What about you and Draco? And don't say nothing, neither of you are as subtle as you think you are."

"Well I can't say that we came to the same conclusion as you and Ron. We've had sex pretty much every day since New Year's." Harry laughed when Hermione choked on her tea. "No need to worry though, it's not a relationship. We're both just so angry at the world, it keeps us grounded, focussed. Plus, it really pisses of Snape so that's an added little bonus."

Hermione laughed, loud, clear and easily. In that moment Harry realised just how much he missed that sound. It was so free and easy, never failing to lift up into a great mood. He stood up, kissed her temple and left the kitchen. When he was lying in bed an hour later, closing his eyes and listening to Ron's snores, he realised that if life was kinder, she was the woman that he'd choose to be with. She was easy comfort and constant support. She challenged him in the best of ways and never once wavered in her belief in him. True the intense physical attraction he had for Draco wasn't there, but he could eventually grow to love her if he tried.

Hermione wasn't his destiny though, she never was. His destiny began, and very well may end, with Voldemort. Anything that comes after that fight will be a wonderful bonus. Hermione deserved so much more that what Harry had to give, he was damaged and there was a piece of him that was very dark and twisted. Hermione deserved someone light, capable of an epic love, willing to put her above anyone and everyone else, she deserved Ron.

Harry heard soft footsteps coming closer and didn't need to open his eyes. He pulled the blanket down and let Draco slid in front of him. That night Harry didn't dream of the horrors to come, but of what his life could have been if so much else was different.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Harry woke the next morning to a warm yet empty bed. Ron and Hermione were both still asleep and the bathroom was empty. The sun wasn't quite up yet, so Harry dressed quickly, hoping to read a few more reports before anyone other than Draco rose. As he was walking down the stairs however, his hopes died. It was so noisy he was astounded that he was able to sleep through it all. Talk slowly began to teeter off as he stopped on the bottom stair, he could feel every eye in the room on him. Draco was standing awkwardly towards the back, so he made his way over.

"What's happening? Who are all these people?" Harry whispered. There must have been at least twenty strangers in the entrance hall.

"Order supporters apparently, they started turning up an hour or so ago." Draco handed him his half-finished coffee and Harry gulped it down gratefully. "Severus and Remus are in the kitchen."

"Well why are we here? Let's join them, I think that old woman in the corner wants to eat me." A small grey-haired woman was indeed staring at Harry as if he would be a great side dish. Even without the inappropriate woman in the corner, the room seemed too full. Apparently only having your best mates for company for almost a year tends to cause a touch of claustrophobia.

Harry cast a series of locking and silencing charms on the kitchen door behind him and Draco, not wanting to be interrupted. "We need to talk." He was looking at Kingsley. "I don't think we should take the fight to him, we need to drag him out, force him to fight."

"Harry," Remus groaned, sounding very much like a petulant two-year-old. "I haven't slept, and the sun isn't up yet. Let's eat, Severus and I will nap, and we can talk strategy later, please?"

Harry scowled but could tell by the looks on everyone's faces that he was out numbered so he released the charms on the door and slumped into a chair. Just as Remus handed him a fresh coffee a booming voice blasted through the house.

"Where is he? Don't look at me like that Mavis! Where's my boy?"

"Now, now my dear, calm down we'll find him." Came a gentle male's voice.

"Draco, I think you have a visitor." Kingsley smiled at him.

"Me?" Draco knotted his brow in confusion. "Who'd be looking for me?"

The answer came bounding into the kitchen, almost knocking the door off of its hinges. The family resemblance to her sister left little doubt for Harry as to who this woman was.

"Andy you can't just barge through doors, you don't know what people could be doing." The short man behind her sighed.

"Draco Malfoy." The woman said standing over him.

"Yes?" Draco shot Harry a confused look. "I'm sorry who are you?"

Andromeda visibly sighed in relief and pulled Draco off of his chair into a fierce hug. Draco opened his eyes wide and his arms hung loosely at his side. When she let him go, her eyes were shining with tears. "I'm your aunt, before I was married, I was Andromeda Black."

"Black?" Draco asked, perplexed. "So, you're my mother's sister?"

Andromeda smiled. "Cissy wrote to me when Lucius was arrested. It took some convincing on my end, but we were starting to mend things between us before," Andromeda's voice started to crack, and she was holding back tears, Draco wasn't appearing to be doing much better. "Can we talk?" Andromeda took Draco's hand when he nodded and led them outside.

"She's been looking forward to this for so long." The short man said, he held his hand out for Harry. "Ted Tonks, I believe you knew my Dora."

Harry let the conversations around the table drift over him, he had no interest in the small talk between Ted and Kingsley. He barely acknowledged Snape and Lupin when they went upstairs nor when Ron, Hermione and Mrs Shacklebolt joined them. He merely pushed the plate of eggs around that was handed to him around his plate. They were wasting so much time, why was he the only one who saw that?

"Harry if you do not stop shaking the table, I will put a full body bind on you. Don't think I won't." Mrs Shacklebolt chastised. Harry was indeed shaking the table with his knee so much that the glasses were rattling.

"Ron, Hermione why don't you take Harry up to the study and he can fill you in on what he read last night." Kingsley suggested. "It's up the first set of stairs, second door on the left."

Harry was on his feet and out of the door before Ron and Hermione could respond. He looked at the floor as he walked through the crowd, it seemed that the amount of people gathered in the entrance hall had doubled. When he found the study, he paced the room irritably waiting for Ron and Hermione to join him. The stack of parchment he had been reading the night before was stacked neatly on the desk.

It took over an hour to catch Ron and Hermione up and to convince them that his plan was the better option. It was dangerous, and the chances of failure were huge but the poetics of it could not be ignored.

The door opened to Remus, Severus, Kingsley and Draco.

"How was it?" Harry asked as Draco sat on the couch beside him.

"She asked me to move in with her and Ted, once this is all over." Draco smiled slightly.

"That's great Draco." Harry smiled back. He was glad that his friends were making plans for what would happen next, it gave them something to fight for. Draco was building his family up again and Ron and Hermione would go to the Burrow and find themselves together again. Harry had been invited to the Burrow as well, but he couldn't plan for it. Not because he didn't want to, he did, but because he honestly couldn't envision a life after this, after Voldemort. Holding out hope always led to disappointment.

"So, Potter, do enlighten us with this grand scheme of yours." Snape said, pulling Harry out of his musings.

Harry sat up straight. "I'm sorry but attacking the ministry is a terrible idea. Most of us in this room have fought there before and it is not easy, safe or smart. There are too many innocent people there and too many ways to escape. We need somewhere open and where we know we can draw him to. Somewhere he couldn't deny us the chance to fight him head on."

"You're an even bigger idiot than I imagined if you think that fighting at Hogwarts will mean we're guaranteed to win." Snape glowered at him.

"Nowhere guarantees us a win." Harry glowered back. "But Hogwarts means too much to him to let us just walk in and take it. If we make a move on the ministry, he'll just rebuild it somewhere else. The building itself isn't overly significant."

"But you just said that there were too many innocent people at the ministry." Remus said incredulously. "The school is full of children, how to you propose we keep them safe?"

"The Marauders." Harry smiled over at Remus. "After curfew we sneak anyone under age and not willing to fight out through the secret passages and we attack the Death Eaters there at daybreak. The teachers would help us, I know they don't want them there. Any student that has sympathy to Voldemort, we body bind them, it's not nice but if we have to do it, we have to do it."

"I like it." Kingsley nodded. "It's got the space and there's less chance of a surprise attack."

The seven of them sat and planned together. A more accurate description would be that most of them sat and planned. Ron and Harry paced the room, both full of nervous energy but listening intently. Ted Tonks kept them updated on the growing number of supporters turning up while supplying them with food and drinks. Kingsley sent word to the Weasley family, at Harry and Ron's behest, to let them know of their plans. Once they had finished with dinner, they were finally at a point where they all felt comfortable enough to sleep. Snape gave them all a dreamless sleep potion, knowing the next day would be difficult and needing everyone at their peak mentally.

Harry stepped out of the bathroom, Ron and Hermione having already taken their potions were fast asleep. He had lifted the vial and was about to swallow his own when Draco's hand covered his to stop him. The warm grey eyes stared through him and Harry felt the heavy weight he didn't know he was carrying lift. Tomorrow could very well be his last day on earth, but at least he would be leaving it a slightly better place.

Draco grabbed his chin and pulled him into a slow, deep kiss. "Good luck Harry."

Harry rested his forehead against Draco's. "You too."

"Promise me something?" Draco whispered. "Promise me you will at least try and survive. If there is a way for him to die and you to live, take it, please?"

"I'll do my best, I promise." Harry kissed him once more before swallowing his potion and lying on his bed. His last thoughts were of wonder at what the world would look like after tomorrow. Would it be a world of peace? Would it take years to find stability again? And, if he failed, how much worse could it get?

"I swear to all that is sacred Weasley if you step on my foot one more time I will tie your legs together and you can bloody well hop." Draco barked in the dark.

During their careful planning to day before, Harry had failed to consider that he was significantly taller than his 13-year-old counterpart. Or that he had only been through the tunnel between Hogwarts and Honeyduke's on his own. With seven fully grown wizards, the trip was slow and hot. Even Remus who had done this as a group of four seemed to have forgotten the tight squeeze in the twenty years since his last journey.

Eventually after a few tumbles and some not so subtly veiled threats thrown between Ron and Draco, Harry was finally able to tap the back of the statue of the one-eyed witch. Professor McGonagall stood in the hall lips pursed and hands on her hips. "What time do you call this Potter? We only just got the students out! You were meant to be here to assist! Have you still failed to understand how to tell time?"

"Sorry professor." Harry looked down at his feet. He hated that he suddenly felt eleven years old again, how did this woman always have the ability to make him feel like this? "But you got them all out safely?"

McGonagall shot him a dark look. "Yes, Bill and Charlie just left with the last lot. They will use the return portkey to come back. Yaxley and the Carrows should be in the great hall soon.

"Good," Harry began to move. "Remember we need them alive."

"Potter," McGonagall put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "It is very good to see you."

Harry smiled. "It's good to see you too."

At the stop of the staircase leading to the entrance hall, Harry could just see the sun beginning to rise over the forbidden forest. Would that be the last one he saw?

"Potter," A voice squeaked beside him. "It's good to see you alive."

Harry looked down and beamed at Professor Flitwick and realised that all of his teachers were standing around him. Every person there had helped him in more than just his studies, they gave him gifts that he would never be able to reciprocate. Without warning his ribs were cracking and his feet had left the ground.

"Ah 'Arry," Hagrid's gruff voice said, tears streaming into his tangled beared. "Never thought I'd see ya again."

"As heart-warming as this display undoubtably is," Snape drawled. "Do you think it could possibly wait?"

"Are they in there?" Harry pointed towards the great hall once Hagrid had set him down.

"Yes." Professor Sprout answered. "They are always there before the students, so they'll be starting to wonder where they are soon."

Harry opted for shock value and a show of power over a sneak attack. He pushed open the heavy wooden doors and walked down the centre of the hall with everyone following in his wake. Draco cast an incendio at the Gryffindor banner behind Yaxley's head, Harry heard his gleeful voice say, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for."

"Potter," Spat the male Carrow.

Harry gave a casual flick of his wand and all three death eaters were bound to their chairs and gagged. Harry grinned at the sight as he stood in front of them.

"The school's mine now." He said simply, he didn't take his eyes off of them when he said, "Minerva, which one killed Neville?"

"Amycus, he's the one that cursed Ginny as well." McGonagall answered tightly.

Ron growled deep in his throat and Harry threw the Death Eater a look of disgust. "Then Alecto, I have a job just for you." She tried to lunge at Harry, but her bonds were too tight. "You'll do it, or I'll leave your brother alone with the Weasleys for a while and let them take their fill. They aren't very pleased with him right now."

The look she gave him had it very clear that she was trying to curse him into every corner of hell. "I want you to take a message to your boss for me. Tell him, if he wants to end this to meet me on the Quidditch pitch at sunset." Harry leaned in to whisper in her ear so that no one else could hear what he said and waved his wand. "The spell I just cast will make your veins feel like acid every time you try and defy me. Go on, try it, I beg you, think about not telling Voldemort."

Harry took the gag out of her mouth and untied her ropes. She ran straight for the double doors away from Harry but before she could cross the threshold, she bent double and screamed in agony. After a moment she turned, panting, to Harry and nodded before finally making her escape. In his two years of research Harry had discovered that there were spells that weren't unforgivable curses, but they probably should be.

"Harry," Hermione breathed behind him. "What did you do?"

"Nothing more than she deserved." Draco said, immediately coming to Harry's defence. "She would have done a lot worse to you."

"But that's beside the point." Hermione argued. "Refusing to cast spells like that is what sets us apart from them."

"No, refusing to judge someone based on archaic bloody purity beliefs is what sets us apart from them." Draco's voice was starting to rise. "You're going to see a whole lot worse than that today Granger."

"This is neither the time nor the place." Remus interjected. "We can discuss the moral ramifications once this is over." Remus shot Harry a look that clearly said that they would be discussing his choices at a later date.

Kingsley stepped up and began to reiterate the plans for the day. He, Remus and Snape would begin shepherding in fighters via portkey while the teachers set up stronger defences on the castle entrance. The goal was to keep the fighting on the grounds, the castle held too many opportunities to hide and attack when your back was turned.

Harry was meant to be helping Ron, Hermione and Draco split people up as they arrived into teams but couldn't concentrate. Instead he found himself walking through the castle, thinking about the spell he had just cast. It wasn't the first time he had used dark magic and he knew that it wouldn't be the last. The power rolling through his veins seemed to complete him, he was more focused and at peace with himself than ever before. He understood now what Voldemort had meant by there not being a good and evil, only power. There was however, a right and wrong way of going about it.

That is what really separated him from the rest of the Order. They were all still stuck on the belief of good and evil and everything being black and white. Yes, Harry was fighting on the side of good and Voldemort was in fact evil, but reality was never that simple. The key to life is and has always been finding a balance and Harry had realised that they key to his success was embracing light and dark and forming them in a symbiotic relationship.

He found a spot in the astronomy tower to sit and watch the sun move across the sky. When it was high, he called for Kreacher to bring him lunch and focussed on the energy coursing through him. He closed his eyes and imagined it forming a ball of pure light below his ribs, muggles called it meditation. Remus had taught him when the rage he felt in his fifth year became unbearable to those around him.

He had just managed to spread the light through his body to his fingertips when Snape's Patronus pulled him suddenly and viciously back into himself. "Potter stop sulking, you're needed." Harry might have reluctant respect for the man now, but he was still a prick.

Harry jumped to his feet and looked at the sky, all of the fighters must have arrived by now. They were waiting for him to be the 'face of resistance' as Kingsley put it. Harry rolled his eyes and made his way down to the grounds. He spared a moment of dread thinking about how much worse the hero worship would get if he did manage to pull this off.

"Where did you disappear to?" Draco asked when Harry stepped out into the bright sun.

"Brooding about how hard I have it in life of course." Harry joked.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Never and I mean never leave me alone that long with Granger again. She kept asking me how long you've been using dark magic and whether you knew all of the consequences."

"She means well, they just don't get it." Harry turned to look at the crowd in front of him. More witches and wizards than Harry imagined had turned up. He recognised roughly thirty students from his year and possibly another hundred full qualified adults. "I suppose I should go, what did Kingsley say? Let them see their hero?"

He made his way through the throng, shook hands and accepted hugs. He listened to stories of heroes and ones that tore out his heart. More than once he was met with bitter resentment because of how long it had taken him to come back. He didn't make excuses, he stood there with his head held high and took the attack. Every person here was risking more than just their lives. If they were to fail today, everyone that they cared for would likely suffer. To Harry, these were the true heroes.

"Potter come with me." Mrs Shacklebolt hand forced her way towards him.

"Ok." He gave her a confused look and made his apologies to the woman he was speaking to. In the last six months she had lost her husband, a brother and her daughter, Harry marvelled that she was able to stand let alone fight.

Mrs Shacklebolt lead him inside the castle where Ron, Hermione and Draco were waiting, they all looked as confused as he felt.

"With all due respect Mrs Shacklebolt." Ron said. "We really should be outside."

"This won't take long." She promised. "As you all know, I lost my husband in the first war. It was without a doubt the truly lowest point in my life. The only thing that got me through was the support of people who had lost as much as I had, they were able to understand. I was able to lean on them and them me, slowly we all healed and grew stronger with the knowledge that those we loved died heroes. You four have lost more than any of those poor souls standing outside, do not interrupt me Mr Malfoy you have.

"I'm not just talking about the friends and family I know you have lost." Mrs Shacklebolt grasped Harry's hand. "You have lost not only your childhoods and your chance to make the stupid decisions we all make in early adulthood, you have lost your futures. None of you will have the chance to have the normal boring lives that you deserve, you've seen too much.

"I know you all have homes open to you from tomorrow, but I would like to offer an alternative. As I said I needed people to lean on who knew what I was going through, the four of you give that to each other. I'd like to offer my home, Kingsley also agrees with me, as a safe haven. When the world gets too much for you to handle you are free to come and stay. For a night, weeks or months, my door is open to you."

"Mrs Shacklebolt, I don't know what to say." Hermione smiled softly.

"No need to respond, just keep it in the back of your mind." She smiled at them all.

Before Harry could say anything, he was knocked off of his feet and into a wall. A shockwave ran through the ground, Harry scrambled to his feet and ran. When he got outside, he was surprised to see that not a single tree in the forest had fallen, every person outside however had. Harry was thrown off of his feet again when a second shock wave hit.

"Potter," The magically enhanced voice made Draco's face drain, Harry would recognise the voice of Lucius Malfoy anywhere. "The Dark Lord is not amused. He is willing to compromise though. Come down to the gates, surrender yourself and we won't attack the innocent people you're hiding behind. Bring my son with you."

"Sonorus." Harry muttered, wand to his throat. "If you think I'd honestly fall for that, you haven't been paying attention."

Draco cast the same spell. "Father, if you want me, come and get me."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The scene that met them on the Hogwarts grounds could only be described as chaotic. Draco's request to his father seemed to break any and all restraint that the Death Eaters were using. Spells were flying from every direction in a multitude of colours and it wasn't long until bodies started dropping, whether from stunners or killing curses, Harry didn't know. He, Draco, Ron and Hermione needed to focus on taking down their biggest threat. At this point, that was Lucius Malfoy.

Lucius hadn't joined the Death Eaters in the battle, he seemed to watch and govern from the safety of the sidelines. Harry fought his way towards him, hoping the others weren't far behind and staying safe. He could sense Draco not too far away, but it had been so long since he had fought alongside Ron and Hermione that he couldn't feel their presence anymore. Another shockwave came, and Harry hit the ground hard and fast. This must be what Lucius was actually doing, waiting for the perfect moment to distract the most amount of people. It was a smart strategy.

Draco held out his hand to help Harry up. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Where's Ron and Hermione?" Harry started searching the field behind them.

"Fighting Alecto, Greyback and Lastrange." Draco pointed to where the battle was the thickest and Harry saw the fight happening. He had to admit, he was impressed by what he saw. Hermione was ferocious with her unruly hair flying around her and Ron was nothing short of brutal. His friends had come an awful long way. "I don't think we can count on them joining us."

Harry nodded and began to feel incredibly stupid, they had been standing still too long, they needed to keep moving. "Let's go."

The path to Draco's father wasn't clear or calm. Harry found himself fighting a masked Death Eater while Draco struggled in the ropes that bound him. The fighting was a fierce to experience and watch. The grass was stained red and more than once Harry tripped over a lifeless body. After he had tripped and saw the lifeless eyes of Seamus Finnigan staring up at him, Harry refused to look to closely at the dead.

The tales of great battles in war glossed over the more stomach-churning aspects of the truth. It was fights like this that birthed muggle horror novels. No one tells you about the sound of people groaning in pain before they die of blood loss. No one tells you what it is like to see someone's legs a meter away from the rest of their body. Worst of all, no one tells you about the smell, the smell of burnt flesh and fresh blood, the smell Harry would remember for the rest of his life. Harry fought to separate his mind, he needed to believe that the death and destruction wasn't happening around him or he wouldn't be able to continue.

They were close now, Harry could almost see the triumph in Lucius' eyes as he approached. He was just about to break into a run when from behind him came a loud cry of, "Harry! Harry Potter!"

Harry turned and saw the unmistakeable squat figure of Peter Pettigrew running towards him. When he saw Harry turn, he threw his wand away with a flourish and fell to his knees at Harry's feet. Pettigrew's hair still grew in patches and his nose twitched like the rate he was and always be. The pathetic excuse for a man was shaking, violently.

"Harry, you must forgive me, please" Pettigrew stuttered, his head bowed low. "He is so powerful and I'm so weak, I had no choice, I couldn't say no. There wasn't anyone who could match his strength. I never imagined that you would have that power too, I can see it, in your eyes. Please Harry take me as your servant, I surrender, please."

Harry bent down on one knee, confident that Draco would watch his back. He placed a hand firmly on Pettigrew's chin and forced their eyes to meet. Pettigrew was terrified and the sweat dripping off of his face was thick. "Peter, I have been aware for a long time of how far your cowardice really does extend. Really, you had no choice. You needed the protection."

"Oh Harry yes!" Pettigrew beamed up at him. "Thank you! Thank you! I knew you would understand! Thank you!"

Harry smiled, not removing his hand and thought of the spell Snape had reluctantly taught him a few weeks ago. Life or death he said, only when there was no other option he said. The way Harry saw things, he had no other option, this was it. He raised his wand to Pettigrew's throat and whispered 'Sectumsempra'.

He was filled with a strange fascination watching the affects, almost as if he was reading a mildly interesting book. Rather than spray Harry with bright red liquid like what happens in muggle movies, the blood was dark and flowed easily down the front of Pettigrew's robes. Harry let the body fall watching it shake and twitch and saw as the last spark of life left the beady eyes. Harry stood and noticed absently that he was standing in a puddle of thick warm blood. The same blood that covered his face and clothes.

"Are you ok Harry?" Draco said from behind him.

Harry honestly couldn't answer that question so instead he turned and said, "It's your turn, are you ready?"

"You look like you lost a fight with a can of paint." Draco said, trying to lighten the mood. "Want me to clean you up?"

"What don't you like me looking all dark and mysterious?" Harry joked but gladly accepted Draco's scourgify. Looking down at Pettigrew, Harry wondered whether his ability to make a joke seconds after taking someone's life was a testament to Peter's wrong doings in life or a look at his own darkness. Shouldn't he be feeling something after finally killing Peter? Relief? Anger? Sadness? Even Joy? There were no emotions there, he only felt numb. This is what caused him to truly feel fear.

"Harry," Draco put a hand on his shoulder. "We need to go."

Harry nodded and pushed his thoughts to the side, if he got the chance he would deal with them later. He had a job to do and before he could complete it they had to overcome one more obstacle. Draco had to confront and conquer his own demon, his father.

Lucius had stopped contemplating the battle, his eyes were fixated on Harry. Harry was pleased to note that Lucius seemed completely unnerved by what he had watch Harry do. Good, let him fear what I can do, Harry thought to himself that way he might not suspect his son.

"Father," Draco bent down into a mocking bow. "So sorry I haven't written you more, if at all, but I felt that our differences in opinion might be cause for contention. See I am under the opinion that my mother didn't deserve to die, and you apparently weren't"

"Draco," Lucius seemed to choose to ignore Draco's statement. "I must insist that you cease making these idiotic mistakes. You know that the Dark Lord will forgive you, just come back to the right side. I taught you better than this."

"You taught me very well yes." Draco said raising his wand. "You taught me the importance of patience and respect. Without these lessons I would have tried to kill you long before now and I would have been sure to die in the process."

"Come now Draco," Lucius held up his own wand. "We both know that you won't kill me. You've always been far too much of a coward to ever accomplish something so daring. Just like your mother, weak and pathetic."

Draco let out an inhuman growl of rage. He flicked his wand once and a large gash appeared on Lucius' thigh, blood stained his robes. "You don't get to talk about her! She was twice the person you will ever be! She was a good person, a good mother and you took her from me!"

Draco had gone feral, all of the anger that he felt towards his father finally found its victim. Father and son threw curse after curse, neither one arming to disarm, both out for blood. Sweat was falling down Draco's neck as he moved to block, dodge and cast. Harry was using all of his self-restraint to not step in and help, he had made a promise to Draco to not intervene.

Lucius was relentless. His teeth were bared and there was no time, seemingly no breath between the spells that he cast. Both wands were moving so fast they looked little more than blurs. Harry could see that Lucius was about to feign right, Draco didn't. A red stunner hit Draco in the stomach sending him flying backwards in a heap.

Lucius moved to stand over his sons body. "Pathetic, you are truly no son of mine. Avada Ked- "

"Petrificus totalus." Harry screamed pointing at Lucius' back. Yes he promised to leave him to Draco, but Draco wasn't exactly in a position to argue. Kneeling down he said 'Enervate'

Draco sat up gasping for air and clawing at Harry's robes. "Where is he? Did he get away?"

Harry shook his head and pointed to the body behind him. "He was about to kill you."

Draco nodded and stood up to watch Lucius' eyes daring around wildly. "I could hide him until this is all over and then the aurors can have him. That would be the right thing to do yeah? What do I do Harry?"

"I can't make that decision for you Draco." Harry looked down to study Lucius.

"Can I trust you? Can I trust you completely?" Draco asked earnestly.

"Seeing as you just watched me open Pettigrew ear to ear, I'd say that's a moot point." Harry pointed to the blood Draco had missed on his shoes.

Draco nodded once and bent down to look into his father's eyes. "This is too good for you. If there was any justice in this world, you would be left screaming in agony until the end of time. But there's not and I can't trust you not to escape if you're arrested, you're too intelligent for your own good. Know though, at the end of it all, that you were right, your precious little prince is a blood traitor and proud of it. Avada Kedavra."

Harry had seen the killing curse's effects before, but that didn't make it any easier to comprehend. There were of course no new marks on Lucius' body, he simply lay there, frozen. You could be forgiven for thinking that he was, in fact, still under that body bind. That was until you saw the eyes. No longer were they darting around in their sockets. They stared out into nothing, devoid of all life. Harry noticed that they were the exact shape and colour of Draco's, but the never held the warmth or passion that were always in his son's.

Draco's brows were crossed when Harry looked at him. "Is that it? I thought it would be more, well more."

"Harry! Draco!" A voice called from behind him as Harry was about to respond. Turning he saw Hermione and Ron running towards them and away from the battle still ragging. When they finally caught up, Hermione's eyes fell to the body on the ground before them and all she could say was, "Oh."

"Come on, he'll turn up soon, I'm sure of it." Harry turned towards to Quidditch pitch and let the others follow. Away from the horror behind him, harry took a moment to appreciate the beauty around him. Hogwarts will always be his home, the one place that he could always feel a sense of connection and love. This was the main reason that he wanted to have the final battle here. If he died today, at least he would die surrounded by a sense of belonging and memories of a happier, simpler time.

He wondered what would happen if he did lose this fight. Would someone else be able to take Voldemort down if Harry did manage to weaken him? How long would his friends mourn for him? Would he see his parents, Sirius, Dumbledore again? Would he finally find peace, or will he live forever in his nightmares? He was aware that some muggles that believed in eternal damnation for sinners and some believed they would be punished until they had worked off their evil deeds. Is that where he'd go?

"Harry," Draco said as they stepped onto the pitch. "Remember what you promised me. Remember that you promised me that you would at least try to survive."

Before Harry could even begin to offer reassurances or say all the things he had planned, to say goodbye, Ron, Hermione and Draco were thrown 50 metres away. Harry turned to see his living nightmare, Voldemort, striding towards him. Voldemort raised his wand above his head and moved it in a large circle. A dome, almost translucent, twenty meters wide and just as high encased them both. Harry could just make out his friends hammering on the perimeter trying to break through.

"I knew you'd come out of hiding eventually Harry. You are many things, but a coward is not one of them. Everyone kept saying that you must have fled, that you had finally realised that you were no match for me. I knew better though, I know you better than that. No one will ever understand you the way I do." Voldemort stood with his wand at his side, looking at Harry with something almost akin to admiration.

Harry paced the dome and Voldemort mirrored every step. Both were trying to calculate the other and neither willing to give up any ground in the process. Harry fought to ignore the pain in his scar and the natural fear that came when staring into those snake-like eyes. This is what he had been working towards, he could move beyond mortal fear and pain. He had no choice.

"You've come a long way in the two years since I last saw you Harry. You've learned a lot and the control that you have over your magic is, I must say, impressive." Voldemort was still to raise his wand. "You've learned focus and restraint, you've grown comfortable and impressively powerful. You and I could be great together you know, no one would ever even attempt to defy us."

Harry couldn't help the cold and bitter laugh that escaped him. "When we met for the second time, after you killed my parents, when you were little more than a leech, you said something similar to me. I turned you down then, even when I was just a child, what makes you think I would join you now? Why would you think I would ever change my mind?"

"You've changed." Harry could see Voldemort's wand beginning to twitch. "You've seen the power that I possess, and you have your own, almost as great as mine. You know how addictive that feeling is, you'll want more of it and nothing will ever satisfy you nearly as much."

Harry nodded, he wasn't about to lie, they were beyond that now. "You're right, it is addictive. The feeling of absolute control is intoxicating. Just knowing that I can over power or even kill anyone who stands in my way, that's enough to send anyone mad. It makes me feel free and alive.

"But that's where you and I begin to differ. You will stop at nothing to gain and hold onto a little bit more power. You'll cut down anyone who dares try and stand up to you, no matter who they are." Harry was forcing his voice to remain calm and even. "I don't want that life, and I will do anything in my power to avoid being corrupted by it, even if it means killing myself. I want my other life. I want the life that you stole from me. The one I never got to experience. I want my parents alive and proud of me. I want the chance of a normal life, a boring life. Yes Tom, you and I are very similar, and our arrogance will eventually kill us both."

"Do you believe that killing me will bring you that life?" Voldemort sneered at him. "On the off chance you manage to get in the lucky strike that brings me down, you will never be free. You will be the man that slayed the greatest wizard to ever live. You were never destined to be normal, to be boring."

Harry raised his wand then. "That may be so, but at least the rest of the world will be safe. You'll be dead, and the rest of the world can live their lives without the fear of you hanging over them."

In the coming days and weeks Harry would try and piece together what exactly happened next, but even with a Pensieve he could only make out abstract sounds and colours. Even the witnesses that had managed to escape the fighting to watch could only make out the flashes of colliding spells within the protective dome.

The tale of the final battle will be written from many different angles and will highlight many different thoughts, emotions and perspectives. It will go down in history as a tale that no one quite remembers correctly. The one common fact that every story will have though is that one-minute spells were ricocheting off of the edge of the dome and the next it was filling with thick, blood red smoke. The smoke filled the dome shielding the wizards inside from view. It kept rising until the pressure seemed to be too much for it to be contained. The magical barrier exploded into glass like shards they rained down on the spectators.

As the smoke began to clear, two shadows were just visible. One was lying lifeless on the grass and the other was crouching nearby in a kneel. That's when Draco saw it and began to run. It wasn't much just a simple blue reflection from the last of the light before the sun set, it was the glint of a shield. The shield of intent, the shield Harry had taught him all that time ago. When he got to Harry's side, his knees gave way and he pulled Harry tight into his chest.

"Did I do it?" Harry's voice was cracking, and he was covered in soot and blood. "Is he dead?"

"Yes Harry," Draco could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks. "You did it."

"Good." Harry smiled and let himself relax into Draco's arms as the world went black.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Harry woke up in a room that he knew nearly as well as the Gryffindor dorms, he was in the hospital wing. Opening his eyes he saw that he was alone, sectioned of by the hospitals privacy curtains. More importantly by some bizarre twist of fate, he was alive.

Glancing around, he found his wand and glasses on the table next to his bed and suddenly a claustrophobic feeling gripped his chest. He needed out of this bed, out of the hospital and out of the castle. After casting a disillusionment charm on himself and conjuring a note that simply said, 'I'm alive', Harry stepped out from behind the curtain. Madam Pomphrey and Andromeda Tonks were moving between the beds, helping all of their groaning or sleeping patients. Through a window he could just see the first rays of sun on the horizon, Harry needed to feel it. Quietly as he could, he stepped out of the ward and into the deserted corridor.

When he reached the top of the stairs that led to the entrance hall, Harry found people scattered in small groups. They were consoling the openly distraught or mourning those who they had lost. Harry had seen enough yesterday to convince him that the final death toll would be significant. He walked onto the grounds and saw it still stained with blood, whether it was Death Eater or Order, it didn't matter. The castle had seen brutal bloodshed.

When he was far enough away from the castle doors, Harry removed his disillusionment and basked in the morning rays. Paying no attention to where his feet were taking him, Harry walked through the grounds of Hogwarts.

What was his life going to be now? The past 17 years he had been torn between trying to grow up and live a lift while being hunted by a mad man. Now that fight was finally over. It seemed to take forever but then it all seemed to end so abruptly. Was he meant to get a job and a wife now? What would people expect him to do? Did that even matter? Maybe he could just leave the country, change his name and try and start over. Afterall Voldemort was right when he said Harry wouldn't be allowed to live in peace now.

Looking around him, Harry saw his feet had taken him to exactly where he needed to be and hadn't realised it. Standing erect on the far side of the lake was his tent. The place where he had found his focus and his determination. Pushing aside the tent flaps, he say Draco sitting on the sofa, staring into nothing and yet at everything.

"I didn't think it would feel like this." Draco said when Harry sat down next to him. "I thought when it was finally over, I'd feel free and relieved, happy even. But I don't, I'm not happy or sad. I just feel numb."

"I know, me too." Harry took Draco's hand and led them over to their bed.

There were so many questions that needed to be answered and still so much to be done, but for right now, none of that mattered. Life isn't about happy endings with big red bows. Life was hard and more often than not, disappointing. Life was brutally intense with glorious moments scattered throughout to give us hope. Life was about finding that one person who could understand and accept you completely, the good, the bad and the terrifying. Someone to enjoy the glorious moments with and help you survive the rest. For Harry, he had found that in Draco.

As Harry laid Draco down, he thought that this wasn't a tale of epic romance and tender lovers. This was about the only two people who could understand each other. This was a tale of survival.

This wasn't love, but it could be.

 _FIN_

AN; Thank you for sticking with me everyone! I know this is left very open, but I have always hated stories that tie everything up with a big red bow. That's just not life and this is always how I planned to end things.

Give Peace a Chance xx


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